How To Choose Happiness and Freedom Show

LOVE THE BODY YOU'RE IN! With Body Image Coach Jackie Garfield

November 12, 2020 Lauren G. Foster Season 2 Episode 73
How To Choose Happiness and Freedom Show
LOVE THE BODY YOU'RE IN! With Body Image Coach Jackie Garfield
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How To Choose Happiness and Freedom Show
LOVE THE BODY YOU'RE IN! With Body Image Coach Jackie Garfield
Nov 12, 2020 Season 2 Episode 73
Lauren G. Foster

Jackie was like a lot of us, dieting, depriving herself, criticizing her body and trying to be smaller. Now she is free from diet culture, happy and healthy and in love with her body. She can teach you how to have this same freedom! 

Here is all of the extra, insider information, resources and free stuff from today's episode. We hope you will reach out to Jackie and to the Be Happy First Team. All our love! Be Happy First! 

Here are all of the ways to get in touch with Jackie! 

Link to free guide: https://jackiegarfield.com/freeguide

Link to Intuitive Eating book I referenced: https://www.amazon.com/Intuitive-Eating-4th-Anti-Diet-Revolutionary/dp/1250255198/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/garfieldjackie/

FB biz page: https://www.facebook.com/jackiegarfieldcoaching

 MORE WAYS TO BE HAPPY FIRST!

You create your life. We are teaching you to create your life on purpose. Happiness and Freedom are your birthright! 

 

We have curated an AMAZING Happiness and Health Package with 9 amazing teachers and a TON of free gifts: guides, video series, e-courses, meditations and more! Go grab that here! https://www.behappyfirst.org/July

 

Here’s your direct link to some free guided meditations! Check out the General Meditation or the Connect with Your Body Meditation to get back in touch with your sacred physical form. Love, respect, communication… the basics for any great relationship. When you have a great relationship with Your Body, Your Body will give you everything you want!  https://www.behappyfirst.org/meditate

 

Watch or listen to past episodes of The How To Choose Happiness and Freedom Show on the Be Happy First Website. https://www.behappyfirst.org/show

 

Learn the 5 Secrets to Being Happy and Free here! https://www.behappyfirst.org/journalplaybook

 

I love you and I'm so glad you're here! 

 

Be sure to subscribe to this channel, "like and follow" the Be Happy First Facebook Page 

 

https://www.facebook.com/behappyfirst/

 

Join our PRIVATE Facebook Group Be Happy First Together for deeper conversations and support. https://www.facebook.com/groups/1252277614898225/

 

Welcome to the Be Happy First Tribe! Remember, Happiness is a Choice! You can always choose to Be Happy First! 

Show Notes Transcript

Jackie was like a lot of us, dieting, depriving herself, criticizing her body and trying to be smaller. Now she is free from diet culture, happy and healthy and in love with her body. She can teach you how to have this same freedom! 

Here is all of the extra, insider information, resources and free stuff from today's episode. We hope you will reach out to Jackie and to the Be Happy First Team. All our love! Be Happy First! 

Here are all of the ways to get in touch with Jackie! 

Link to free guide: https://jackiegarfield.com/freeguide

Link to Intuitive Eating book I referenced: https://www.amazon.com/Intuitive-Eating-4th-Anti-Diet-Revolutionary/dp/1250255198/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/garfieldjackie/

FB biz page: https://www.facebook.com/jackiegarfieldcoaching

 MORE WAYS TO BE HAPPY FIRST!

You create your life. We are teaching you to create your life on purpose. Happiness and Freedom are your birthright! 

 

We have curated an AMAZING Happiness and Health Package with 9 amazing teachers and a TON of free gifts: guides, video series, e-courses, meditations and more! Go grab that here! https://www.behappyfirst.org/July

 

Here’s your direct link to some free guided meditations! Check out the General Meditation or the Connect with Your Body Meditation to get back in touch with your sacred physical form. Love, respect, communication… the basics for any great relationship. When you have a great relationship with Your Body, Your Body will give you everything you want!  https://www.behappyfirst.org/meditate

 

Watch or listen to past episodes of The How To Choose Happiness and Freedom Show on the Be Happy First Website. https://www.behappyfirst.org/show

 

Learn the 5 Secrets to Being Happy and Free here! https://www.behappyfirst.org/journalplaybook

 

I love you and I'm so glad you're here! 

 

Be sure to subscribe to this channel, "like and follow" the Be Happy First Facebook Page 

 

https://www.facebook.com/behappyfirst/

 

Join our PRIVATE Facebook Group Be Happy First Together for deeper conversations and support. https://www.facebook.com/groups/1252277614898225/

 

Welcome to the Be Happy First Tribe! Remember, Happiness is a Choice! You can always choose to Be Happy First! 

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

Welcome to this episode of the How to chase happiness and freedom Show. I'm your host Lauren foster happiness teacher and founder of be happy First, it is fall of 2020 November 12, to be exact on a rainy Thursday morning, which is very interesting that you know how the weather affects us. It affects but I wear comfy cozy clothes on cold fall days. So my guest today is my sister author from the book, The Art and traits of transformation for women that is on sale through my website. And also through Jackie's if you want an autographed copy from one or the other of us, you can also find on Amazon, it's an amazing read of 20 different women and their wonderful, beautiful stories of how they transform their own lives. And it will inspire you to make changes of your own, it will comfort you and understanding that you're not alone. And whatever your struggles are. And it's just a really great and uplifting adventure with 20 different great authors and all kinds of great gifts. So you can also find it on amazon.com. So my guest today is Jackie Garfield, she is a certified intuitive eating counselor, and body image coach. And we're going to talk with her today about how we don't have to do what the rest of the world says is the right diet for us. We get to tune into our own bodies and, and do what feels right for us and learn to listen to what our body wants. And also to be in love with our body and have a positive body image. So welcome, Jackie. I'm so happy to have you with me today.

Jackie Garfield:

Thank you so much for having me.

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

Yeah. So how did you love the transformation book experience?

Jackie Garfield:

A it was an up and an up and down journey. How about that? He can it was, um, I kind of got into it. I heard about it and went Yes, I have to participate. This is This is amazing. And then I started writing and I think I was censoring myself a little bit and I had to scrap it and start all over. So there was some some fits and starts. But I'm, I'm really happy with how it all came together in the end. Yeah, very fun project to work on.

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

said to me that sounds like an up and up and up journey because that's one of the things that we are called to do as any kind of servers in the world is to bare our souls a little bit to make ourselves vulnerable. And that's not an easy thing to do. So congratulations. Alright, so without being you know, a spoiler in, you know, telling everything that's in the book did tell us your story of how you became an intuitive eating counselor and body image coach.

Jackie Garfield:

Oh, my gosh, I'm sorry. So I, you know, trained in the usual ways, went to college, worked in corporate America kind of followed the advice of everyone else in my life, right. And got to a point where I was like, you know, I'm doing all the things and I'm just not truly happy. And that's a few years ago, I stumbled on how to be a health coach. And so that kind of turned my world upside down. And it just called to me in a huge way, and I had to jump on it and follow that intuition. So that got me there. But when I initially started my health coaching program, I was still dieting. And so that was in my my low carb days. And I really, the science sort of made sense to me, as far as you know, you limit carbs, and that releases to your body to burn fat, and you know, all that stuff all made sense. And I was still interested in shrinking my body. And I thought it was right, in order to be healthy, I have to be smaller and all the messages that we get day in and day out from diet culture and our medical professionals to and unfortunately, we're all raised in the same bright bubble of health, equal weight equals health. And we don't take into account all the other things that provide our health and our self care and all that kind of stuff. So I've kind of changed my tune quite a bit from when I initially got into the health coaching program. But I've always been a health and fitness buff, I was an athlete growing up and so it's always been front and center. I've always, you know, been paying attention to what are the right things to do. And like I said, a few years ago, I right a few years ago, I kind of was like I can't do this anymore. I felt totally consumed by thoughts of counting this and how many calories that I burned during my workout and should I do hit workout or should I just walk or should I lift weights or should I you know, it was like consuming and I just hit a wall and I hit a breaking point. I'm like, I can't do that. So that's when I discovered intuitive eating. And it just, it made so much sense. And of course, you know, giving up the diet mentality. It's like gag eat bread and pasta with abandoned and nobody can stop me and you know, that's all very exciting but scary too because you're kind of you're deciding that Well yeah, I might gain a few pounds if I eat whatever I want. But in reality that doesn't usually happen unless your body needs to gain some weight because you're trying to maintain something that it is not happy with. So your body is the boss, I guess is, is what comes down to and so just accepting that and letting it lead the way and be your guide is is a very freeing experience. Yeah. And said,

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

I love that you're doing this work. And I, I would I want to see women in the whole world have a good and healthy relationship with food and a loving and communicative relationship with their bodies. And so that's what you're helping to do. So what how do you start? I mean, what So,

Unknown:

all right, I'm

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

ready Jackie helped me to become an intuitive eater instead of and that's a lifelong diet or to you know, I did everything I did. I did the Atkins diet I did low carb i did i thankfully never really jumped on the total low fat leg and and got myself completely addicted to sugar. That

Jackie Garfield:

That one I kind of spat and all that come along with that.

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

Oh, yeah, totally. And but Gail, we've just slimfast in college, and just yet all of the things

Unknown:

and

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

and now I believe that there are some things that nobody should ever ever eat, like preservatives and dyes and

Jackie Garfield:

things like that goes right? unhealthy, right? That's the stuff that's unhealthy that can be created dangers.

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. science projects instead of, you know, what was meant to be food. So then, so now what is the first step? What is the first thing that you advise your clients to do now that they've decided to embrace this new idea and learn how to intuitive eater.

Jackie Garfield:

So it's interesting what I have learned as I've continued to do this work and done it for myself, I kind of feel like I kind of skipped a step because I was already kind of happy with my body, I kind of had called truce and said, right, I, I don't want to hurt you anymore. And I know that that's what I'm doing. And so I kind of easily accepted where my body had settled in, even though it was more than I had ever weighed. And for the past, however, great two decades, I had been trying to be smaller. But it kind of starts there, right? So I can teach you all the principles of intuitive eating, which is right, ditching the diets making all foods available to you whenever you want them honoring your hunger and fullness. Right finding other outlets for your emotional needs, right? I mean, it's not saying don't ever eat it for emotional reasons. But it's, I can also do these other things and having other tools in your toolbox. So I can teach you all that stuff. But if you're still unhappy with how you look, and see all the flaws, and haven't changed that dialogue in your head, that again, is learned. We don't I mean, I love it when it's like oh, but you know, this is just you, you've heard it for so long. You believe it and you think it's your own thoughts, like you think that you created the situation for yourself, when in reality, images and magazines and all the TV stars and right, they're just messages, particularly for women, all over the you know, you need to look a certain way in order to be attractive. And men only like a certain, right, they only like thin Wi Fi, whatever. And so we've kind of absorbed all this our whole lives, right? Because it's been like this for quite a long time. And we say, well, we got to look like that in order to be valuable and worthy. And so that's kind of the first step of any intuitive eating journey is that body acceptance and appreciation piece. And I'm not suggesting it's easy to just bam, one day, I love my body. It's amazing. All my all my roles are beautiful, right? Like, I'm not expected, you know, none of us expected to immediately do that. But I think it's, you know, understanding where those messages came from. And kind of putting down on paper and going Is that really true? You know, kind of do a little fact checking on some of that stuff. Yeah, but also looking at yourself and like, what am I friends and family love about me? It's not going to be my dress size? Nope. All the wonderful qualities that I have inside. And so how about we focus more of our attention on that and who we are and how loving and amazing and intelligent and funny We are instead of focusing on our baby,

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

he said giant This is Romeo, he's he's on the show a lot. I want to highlight the first thing that you said in this, this little bit of the conversation is that we think the thoughts that we're thinking are our thoughts and that they're the truth. And they're, they're not necessarily their beliefs and thoughts that have been planted and cultivated, in our minds through culture and through experiences and all those things. And I love that. But

Jackie Garfield:

is this subconscious? Like, we don't even know that our brain is being hijacked? Because the messages are just there in our environment? And we don't even know where we're capturing it, right? Because our subconscious takes in 90% of things that we don't even know it's doing. And so that's kind of the first step is just deprogramming a little bit, those thoughts? And why do I feel that way? And is that really true, and, you know, focusing on who you are as a whole person, and that tying up my entire worth and value as a person into my body size, or write the straight body part that I have that other people find attractive or whatever, right? It's, it's for going from an external focus to an internal and really reconnecting with who you are. And I think after decades of dieting, our heads and our bodies are completely disconnected. Because we, our body says I'm hungry, right? And it's like, well, no, no, it's not time to eat yet. Or, I can only have 1200 calories a day. So I don't care that you're hungry, I'm not going to feed you because, right, I'm trying to stick to this plan that's gonna solve all my problems. So that's part of it too, right? reconnecting and actually being present in your body and feeling what it wants you to feel and listening to it. When it tells you I'm hungry, I need to eat or right, I need to rest. I think there's right all the self care stuff. If you're tired, and you're overworked, your body's gonna be hungry, or because it needs the energy to keep you going. So when your body says rest, rest, when your body says Move, move, right? And we're so disconnected from that, I think after lots of years of dieting, that it's just, again, getting back in touch and getting into communicating again and taking it from there.

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

Yeah, I love that we teach a whole month on your relationship with your body and the understanding that you have a body your body is not who you are. Your your body is just the earth suit that your divine soul inhabits wallets here on the planet, and it's your friend and it's amazing in it wants to have a loving relationship with you, and want to please you if you can get lined up with that. Now, I don't want you to give away your whole coaching program. But But what are some ways that two questions remind me to to talk about emotional eating? But first of all, what what are a couple of things that our listeners can do right now? To begin to have a different conversation with their body and with food? So just a few simple tips.

Jackie Garfield:

It's so simple. You'll be like what? just general awareness? What is your self talk? What are you saying yourself when you look in the mirror, when you go to the store to try on clothes? Right? Like, again, we have this whole our brains don't shut off. So we have this whole dialogue in our head constantly. And it's tuning into what am I saying to myself? Am I speaking to myself in a way that I wouldn't speak to a friend or a loved one? Because why are we so hard on ourselves? Right? When? Right? were nice to everybody else. So it's really it's knock it off. It's an awareness. It's, you know, again, we're just we're going a million miles a minute, we're taking care of our families we're working we're doing all these things that we don't pay attention to all of this other stuff is just right below the surface. And so it's really consciously taking a beat and saying, okay, right, when you catch yourself saying, Oh my god, you know, my pants are getting tighter again and or right, whatever it is, and you be a terrible person. Like I fell off the wagon and I'm, you know, I did all the we just, we got to fat. So, I would say that's the first good step. And at first, it's just catching yourself and going, No, okay, I'm not going to talk to myself in that way anymore. And eventually you work your way into. Here's what's great, right? Like, no, I'm not gonna say that anymore. But like, here's what's great about my body. And it doesn't have to be how it looks. It's, it gets me from A to B every day, right? I'm not disabled, like I'm able bodied.

Unknown:

Yeah, my heart

Jackie Garfield:

does everything I asked of it. It does pretty much.

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

Yeah, our bodies are miraculous. They're, it's, you know, it's a miracle of all the things that go on without any input from us whatsoever, you know? Okay, so how I find that a lot of people will eat to fill a different kind of void. So how do you figure out if you're really hungry? How do you develop that intuition, whether it's hungry hunger, or it's some other, I figured out that if I get tired, like you were mentioning, I would think I was hungry, but I really just needed a nap. And it just took some awareness to go, Okay, I only ate two hours ago. Am I really hungry? I think I'll take a nap and see and voila, that that was what my body wanted. And then you just, and it said, Thank you. And I said, Amen. And that thing, so what what are some, what are some ideas on how to identify?

Unknown:

Sure, real hunger.

Jackie Garfield:

So the interesting thing, in the intuitive eating world about emotional eating, is that it is caused by restriction. So if I'm denying myself, all these foods, I have a list of things I can eat, that I really enjoy that are comforting to me, I'm immediately going to go for that thing when I need right help dealing with an emotion. And I think the key thing about intuitive eating is you're allowed to eat the thing that's comforting. But it's to do it while you're present, not gobble it down without even thinking about it, right? sitting down at the table, right? enjoying it, and knowing that it's serving a purpose for you, but also acknowledging, okay, eventually, I have to get out of this cycle, and make different choices and care for myself in other ways. So like you said, I just needed a nap. Right? I think there are other we all have. And it's different for everybody, right? But we all have different things that make us feel good. And maybe it's locking yourself in a room away from the kids and reading for an hour, right? Maybe it's taking a bubble bath, maybe it's going for a long walk, listening to a podcast, right? Whatever it is. But knowing what those things are for yourself. And when you are feeling emotionally charged about something, giving yourself permission, yes, I could go reach for that, right? In my case, my bowl of mac and cheese I adore. Or I could go take a nap or go take the long walk and that soothes me in other ways. And so it's it's not saying no, you can't do this ever again. You can't use food, right? Because that's not a solution that just makes you want the food more because you're saying no, I can't have that. No. Again, doing it with intention. And knowing that yes, I'm making this choice. And I'm okay being okay with it. Right and not beating yourself up. There's so much guilt and shame around food and why I ate when I wasn't hungry. So what? Oh, what? It's It's such a diet culture mentality that we all live in. And we all are just, we're so brainwashed to only so many calories a day and don't eat saturated fat and don't do this and don't do that. And then when you do do it, you feel bad about it. So you don't enjoy it. Your body doesn't even know what's happening. Right? There's no satisfaction involved. Eating is supposed to be satisfying. Read.

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

I love the way that you have reframed this because there's nothing wrong with emotional eating. It's mindful. It's

Jackie Garfield:

like loving. It's right. It's you're taking care of yourself by doing that. And I know that sounds crazy. No, it doesn't

Unknown:

it doesn't you

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

are it look like da No, it sounds perfect. So you know, I am feeling lonely and missing my mom and I I'm gonna make the meal that she always made for me and enjoy that. And so what is wrong?

Jackie Garfield:

experience all of that and feel amazing that she taught you how to make that change, right? Yes, do that food. Food tastes good. Because it's supposed to be satisfying. We're supposed to enjoy the experience of eating. Right? diet culture has taken that away from us. Mm hmm. And I'm out here to reclaim it and say no. Right here, right? Being thin are forcing my body to look away that my body does not want to be right. It's a whole nother conversation about our bodies have a natural setpoint that it wants to be at. And we're constantly chasing this ideal that maybe our body isn't designed. We're designed to be different. We all have different right? eye color, hair color, nose, but whatever, right. We're supposed to look different. We shouldn't be chasing this ideal. So take care of yourself. That's what we need to do, and kind of throw the rules out the window. Okay, so

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

let's talk a little bit about routines and schedules. And so that I've recently got very interested in Human Design.

Jackie Garfield:

And so I have actually had a reading with our friend Kathy's Karen. Yeah.

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

So, um, yeah, it's fascinating. And one of the things that I discovered in my chart is that as far as food and exercise and sleep and things like that, that I'm hardwired to, like, kind of a schedule and kind of a routine, or while at the same time, I'm a total freedom junkie, so you're not going to trap me into a schedule. So it to make it and change it anytime that I want. But as I've just kind of relaxed into that, just notice what I do when I feel good, then those patterns just emerge. And, you know, I sleep the same amount every night. And you know, so all of these things can happen. Did. So do you find that that is the way with your clients that they're like, some days, they're just really are not interested in food? And the next day, they want to eat all day? Or? And?

Jackie Garfield:

Yeah, I mean, right? You're not your brain is not in charge, your body's in charge. Right? And again, it's listening to that and honoring it. Yeah. And again, it goes against diet culture, eat five times a day, eat three times a day eat, it's like, no, why are you eating when you're not, you know, again, you can eat when you're not hungry, it's not a big deal. But don't put yourself on a schedule that your body is not in tune with. And so you know it right. Some days, I'll have a late luncheon, I won't eat with my husband, because he gets home late or whatever. And it is. It's, it's harder, because you want to have that time and enjoy, you know, also at the table with him while he eats. But, you know, if I'm not hungry, I honor that I don't eat just because it's time or, you know, I'm supposed to or, you know, I can still enjoy my, my interaction with him and sharing our days together without eating with him. Right? But it's changing, right? how we've always operated a little bit. And again, honoring what's going on for you. And with what, especially with women, right? We have hormonal cycles that make us hungry, or sometimes and not others, and you just can't plan that into our world, you just can't. And so just honoring, honoring what your body's asking of you. And

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

you know, that this brings me to my question that, you know, is pertinent to me and my stage of life right now. I'm 55. And I'm, and thick around my middle in a way that I haven't done before. And it's so but I don't buy into Oh, when you get older, these things just happen there. So that's just, you have no choice about that i don't buy into either of those things. I mean, I don't want to criticize my body for doing whatever is doing for whatever reason it's doing it. But I also don't want to buy into the notion that just because there's, you know, a number on your birthday, then your life has to be this way, and your body has to be this way. So what's the answer to that?

Jackie Garfield:

Um, well, I think, again, back to the women different for men, right? But we do we go through these stages of life where we have children, and we right, fat is protective, it right helps us and and if you really dug into the research, which again, a whole nother we could take a whole call on that. But when you look at the research, the mortality of people in the overweight category is actually that or about are of people in a regular weight category. So why are we so desperate to, you know, change what is just a naturally occurring kind of wave in our life of how our body changes and that kind of thing?

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

You so let me let me make sure I understand that. So the research shows that overweight people live just as long as normal or lower people. Oh, that's interesting. It's interesting. Well, in my case, I don't I don't want it it makes me uncomfortable. It makes me it's, it's I mean, there's a little bit of vanity in there, but not much because I'm alone here on the side of the shirt. But it's it's mostly about just my own comfort level. And it's just it's it's like I just really would rather it wasn't their turn.

Jackie Garfield:

So what I'm gonna start coaching you what's on coming But what is so uncomfortable about it?

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

Just the way that it feels the way the way my belly feels, I feel like I don't have the space in my lap. And in my, in my, this area of my bodies just feel like there's something there. That's not supposed to be there. No, I also kind of think in the back of my head that is just a phase and it's and as my hormones are changing and adjusting, or that it's going to go away on its own.

Jackie Garfield:

And it may be right, like we don't know, um, I had a question in my head, and I lost it. Sorry, um, I guess what would be the worst thing about losing that space?

Unknown:

The worst thing

Jackie Garfield:

about the worst thing about that, like, Why, what is worst case about losing that? Like, what if you were to never gain that space back? out? What would that mean?

Unknown:

It's nothing.

Jackie Garfield:

You know, it's like, Who's uncomfortable me or society's view of, you know, just again, those thoughts that, you know, terrible? Like, can I live with it?

Unknown:

Yeah.

Jackie Garfield:

Are those where's that idea coming from? Yeah.

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

So and then. And then if we didn't have

Jackie Garfield:

society and our error telling us that, you know, you shouldn't gain weight as you get older, right, you should bounce right back after your pregnancy or whatever the thing is, like, we would just accept our body. And as it changes, we wouldn't even think about it, we would just live our lives and do our thing. Right?

Unknown:

Yeah. What

Jackie Garfield:

are those ideas come from? Whose idea is that, whose thought is that?

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

I'll think about it some more, because because it truly does doesn't bother me very much at all. So, but it's so but there's a that I kind of don't want anyone to say, Well, alright, I guess this is good enough for anything in their life, you know, like, unhealthy enough. I want everyone to thrive. I want everyone to feel amazing. And

Jackie Garfield:

And could you feel amazing, while still having the extra roll?

Unknown:

Yeah. Do

Jackie Garfield:

you know? Right? I mean,

Unknown:

I it's,

Jackie Garfield:

it's just kind of reframing, like, what's really going on there? Like, what's underneath of that, that feeling or that desire? Yeah. And are there other ways you can care for yourself? Right, you're still able to be active and move in ways you want to move? And right. I mean, oh, yeah. I'm caring for your body in the way it wants to be cared for.

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

Right? Like, I love animal love. All right, yeah. So that that makes and you know, I wanted you to say that for me. But many, many, many, many women are in this position where they're just putting off feeling good about themselves until they've reached some

Jackie Garfield:

right body. I think if you lived in a bubble, right? You live with your little tribe of people, and you didn't have all these bright messages and marketing, never diet culture, and well, like all this stuff running around, right? Would you even like have a thought about your body? Other than? No, you wouldn't even have a thought about your body? I mean, really?

Unknown:

Well, as far

Jackie Garfield:

as we know, back in the days, think about their body.

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

Only when they needed to do something that they weren't physically able to, you know, hunting and gathering and, and other things. Yeah,

Jackie Garfield:

they got older and their bodies don't move the way it did. And it's like, I guess I can't do it anymore. But they weren't thinking about, oh, I'm ready to hit menopause. And so I'm right, gaining as much weight because that's what my body needs in this moment. They don't they didn't even occur to them didn't even occur to

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

them. Yeah, you're absolutely right. I knew I was gonna love this conversation. And all of these different ways of thinking about things. Yeah. Okay. So do you find that people, once they have done the work of getting okay with their body image and being you know, having a good relationship with their body, and they're tuned into their intuition? Do you find that other patterns emerge? Like, are there people whose bodies really do better with low carb or, you know, like, beets and hikma and root vegetables and things like that my body hates them. And I discovered that because I ate them. And my body said, No, so now I know, but do you find that people do fall into some sort of gap? I want to I don't want to say,

Jackie Garfield:

yeah, I mean, it's but it's not because someone told me that I should eat that way. I which is the key difference. Yeah, yes. And I think, again, I'm still on my intuitive eating journey. It doesn't just like magically end one day, right. But I used to excessively think about food, NASA. I don't really think about food at all now until I'm like, Oh, I'm hungry. Oh, what sounds good. Okay, I'll get that. Right. But part of the intuitive eating process is eating something. And you know, a lot, a lot of times it's right. If I've been dieting, and I haven't allowed myself certain foods, and my gosh, I really love pizza. So you eat pizza every day for two weeks, you may write. And eventually you get sick of it. That's actually like, it's actually a real thing. It's called food habituation, you get sick of eating right? Once you've had enough of something, you get tired of it, and you move on to something else. But you may eat that pizza and be totally present with it and enjoy every morsel. And go, man, I feel like crap. Like, and it really doesn't taste as good as I remember it tasting. Ate. Right? You know, but the because it was off limits. Mm hmm. You're like, Oh, that is the best thing on the planet. And I have to eat that. Yeah. And it's a mind trick. Uh huh. Right? Yeah. The minute you say it's off limits, I'm gonna want that thing. bring everybody. anything in life.

Unknown:

Exactly. Yeah.

Jackie Garfield:

And so once you throw the rules out, and you allow yourself to eat, whatever you want to eat, and as much you know, as much as you want to, you can actually pay attention to how it feels in your body. And you will naturally go, it's just not worth it for me to eat that anymore. But the desire is gone, too, because you've made it available, right? It's not off limits anymore. So it's not this like coveted thing that I can't have. So by allowing all foods to be available, you get to figure those things out and find out what makes you feel good. But then you're doing it from a place of, I'm honoring what my body needs of me, and how my body functions best. And it may be by not eating gluten, it might be by eliminating nightshades, right, like, whatever the thing is, but you're doing it from a place of I'm serving my body, and it's us and because this outside party told me to diet, and this is the thing that's going to solve all my problems, right? Meat and the freedom of choice. Yeah, which is the whole message of this whole entire show show. That's all about I have the whole entire world is laid out for you. And you get to figure out what you love. And everybody loves and and choose the things that you want and let other people have the things that you go about. Yep. That that restriction gets us every time because it makes us yeah, it's like, oh, shiny object over here, and maybe not as great as you imagine or remember. But you get to experiment, right? When you say, are available, then you get to eat all that, you know, I was eating all kinds of things that I hadn't eaten in years. It's like, you know, over here, I'm avoiding it. And it turns out, it's not that great anyway. So, you know, you figure it out. And it does take time. I'm not suggesting the intuitive eating journey is a fast one. Right? I've been on mine for a couple years now and still feel like I'm figuring new things out as I go.

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

Well, and and Are you also changing? So what so that the things that I intuitively love and want today might not be the same as next year? Or you know, maybe longer periods of time a teenager? Right? It's going to want and need different things than a woman in menopause. Right?

Jackie Garfield:

Right. And I mean, think that's true of all things. Yeah, you're right preference for things change as you get older. So you're so brave and older, just right. As your life moves on, you just write some things fall out of favor and other things, you enjoy more. And it's a cycle. And I think it's just part of life, in general to cycle in and out of things. Hmm.

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

Interesting. So, you know, and it's, I mean, the message is says simple, love your body, honor your body, listen to your body. But it's so complex to actually, there's so many moving parts in there that we have to just recognize in ourselves, right and

Jackie Garfield:

right. And I mean, right, that's why I coach because you can go out and buy intuitive eating the book can you can read about the 10 principles, they have a workbook that you can work through, which is super helpful. And I do offer that to clients, if that's right, if they're interested in actually having in the workbook and doing additional exercises. But you know, it's sometimes you need someone to hear what right kind of what we just went through, like, you're thinking something and you're like, That's true. That's fact and I'm questioning is it sometimes you just need someone to write be that counterbalance to what you think is true and kind of say, is that true? I need to be that way or can we decide that it means something else? Yeah, that's where Having a coach comes into play, right with doing something like this, because it's that extra step of right accountability, but also just to hear, hear your thoughts and hear them differently than the way you hear them and offering an alternative.

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

Yeah, it said, Yeah, let the value one of the most valuable things that having a coach is that you're inside the frame of your life. And your coach is looking at your life from outside the frame. So and I don't do one on one coaching at this time that Jackie does. So if you want to explore, you know more about working with her and having a coach and, you know, learning how to have a good relationship with food in your body. I mean, that's such a big part of our lives. I mean, your bodies with you every second. Yeah. How How much do you enrich your life by loving your body that you have with you every second? It's awesome. Okay, so I wanted to ask you one other thing, uh, let's talk about some extra self care type of ideas. And, you know, what are some really nurturing things that we can do for ourselves?

Jackie Garfield:

Oh, my goodness, Well, again, different for everybody. Right. I personally, I'll tell you a funny story, because it's just happened. So I am newly married. I just got married a couple months ago, on a not even a couple months ago yet September, um, and I moved in with my husband, and he has a bathtub. But it's like a built in, you know, the whole plastic, right? acrylic thing. It's very shallow. It's very narrow. I love me an Epsom salt bath. Love. And I tempted one the other day and I was more frustrated and less relaxed after the attempt. And so then yesterday, I actually went to my old condo and took a bath over there. And that made me happy. So I may have to do something here. But right for me. baths are so relaxing. I love the Epsom salt and essential oils, just right, relaxing, getting out of my head a little bit I put on my spine music. And that just is my thing. It's my thing. So for me, that's that right? I love my long locks. So I think it's different for everybody, we all kind of have a thing. Some people like more active right reading that kind of thing. Some people just want to be mindless and do nothing. Maybe you have a meditation app, that you just make a priority to do 20 minutes a day and it just kind of centers you grounds you some people do journaling to get all the crummy thoughts out of your head. So I think it's right, it's unique to all of us fill another calling, right calling a friend and really connecting

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

so intuitive again to go with yourself and with what what your soul needs and what your whole person needs. And

Jackie Garfield:

we're so busy. Right? with life that we we just don't connect right with who we are what we need what some you know, what would really serve our, our core, right, like you said nurture.

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

Right? Right. Right. Awesome. Okay, well, so can you think of anything that we haven't covered that we just absolutely, must make sure is in this show? And in this recording? Um, you know what? I

Jackie Garfield:

had something a minute ago. No, I lost it. There's so much. Um, yeah, it's like, I'm really I wanted to say

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

something. No, you know, what, I just thought of something that we didn't cover. And that was exercise.

Jackie Garfield:

Yes. Important, right. So, um, once we've kind of talked about making all foods available, right? hunger, fullness, right, talking about all those things, really honoring your body and what it's asking of you. You do get to write a joyful movement. So, again, movement is good in whatever form feels good to you. Maybe it's just like yoga a few days a week. Maybe it's a raid, strenuous walk every day. But it doesn't have to be punishment. So I think right, again, with diet, culture, thoughts in mind, that 30 minute hit workout is going to burn more calories than a 30 minute stroll outside. Fine, however, what value do we get from being outside in nature, breathing the fresh air clearing our head, right? Like there's so much you gain physically from that. Even if it's just a less lower lower piece, right, lower effort? Well, you're still getting your heart rate up. So it is again, it's all intuitive. It's honoring what would feel good to your body. And again, it's different for everybody. Yeah, I don't particularly like yoga. I know. It's right. Good for me. But I love my walks. So I take my walks. I don't beat myself up if I feel like doing I used to do kickboxing a ton because again, high calorie burn. Sometimes I do have the energy that I just need to burn off if it's stress or whatever, and I will knock out a kick out or kick kick kick. Good. I can't talk kickboxing workout. But it's because I know it's gonna feel good to me. I'm not doing it because I'm trying to burn a certain number of calories to right burn off the cake that I the day before,

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

right? We didn't kill it. Your body likes it and the worst phrase to ever be generated by the the diet and exercise culture is no pain, no gain, like oh, my God had completely outlawed that outlaw that phrase.

Jackie Garfield:

Yeah, yeah, it's cuz it's that again, think about right generations prior to the center, and really before the 80s right at is kind of running became a thing. But like, before that people didn't go, we didn't have gyms, we didn't go do all this strenuous exercise. I mean, I realized we were probably walking more as far as getting to and from work and that kind of thing. But yeah, yeah, like, strenuous exercise thing came up in the last 30 years. And we're not gonna be healthier. So I don't think that's the solution. Right? we're so focused on our lifetime, but it's like, if we look back, right, previous generations and like what they were doing, and they were healthier. So maybe we need to get back to, to that. Right. And, and kind of get rid of what we've been told is the right thing, because obviously, it's not working. Right. And I think each of us individually has experienced that. Right? dieting doesn't work, doesn't work. It might actually does. It works for 5% of people. Like I say, never works, but statistically 95% of us will regain what we lost, and two thirds will gain more than we lost. Because your body thinks it's serving. It shuts down your metabolism it is protecting you, it doesn't want you to go below a certain weight, and that we think that we can outsmart our body is silly. So I remembered the thing I was gonna say. And I think it's talking about what's possible. When you ditch the diets, right and make peace with food and your body. I obsessively thought about food, and right exercise and calories in and calories out and falling off the diet and oh my god, I screwed up again. And Monday, I got to start again. And I'm really going to I'm going to do it this time, I'm gonna I'm gonna have the discipline to make it happen. Right? Think about all the brainpower that that takes. It's crazy. So I would ask the audience to think about if I were to write, remove that. How much brain space would that create? Yeah, for me to do other things that bring me joy. Maybe it's pursue a new job opportunity. Maybe it's go back to school. Right?

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

It's right

Jackie Garfield:

about the opportunities and the possibilities are endless. And so why not give yourself that gift. Because at the end of the day, you're the one in your body, you're the one who has to be happy. And it's a decision and it's a choice you can make to be happy just as you are. Others love you just as you are right. And you know, I'll put a braid I'll put that out there it was in my in my book but my husband loves me at my overweight size right there you know, it's, we make it a much bigger deal than it needs to be. So think about the freedom and peace of mind that can come from kind of saying Nope, no more dying, we're dying. Let's figure out how to honor our body as it is and just take care of it.

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

I like it. You're one of the things I forgot to tell you before we started was that the only way I know how to end this broadcast is to end the call so you feel like I'm hanging up on you

Jackie Garfield:

raise

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

and then I'll be back in touch with you you know this week over email and things after I have your links done. Wherever you are watching this video or listening to podcasts just look down and we're going to provide all kinds of information links to get to Jackie links to get to the book links to you know some all the information we can think of to share with you will be in the show notes and ways to get connected with us. We'll be there

Jackie Garfield:

and I do have a free guide if people are interested. So if you go to Jackie Garfield comm slash like that, next, okay, and say that backslash backslash free guide. It's just a couple of mindset shifts. You can make if you are interested in kind of thinking about going on intuitive eating journey. So anyone thinks that might be helpful. Please go to my website and check it out.

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

Absolutely. I'm positive that it will. Awesome. Thank you so much, Jackie, for being here with me today.

Jackie Garfield:

You're welcome. Thank you for having me. Yeah, we

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

will. Yeah, we'll still be in touch. So I'm happy to be back with you next week with a another guest that I don't want to revisit his or his next week Thanksgiving. Not exactly, Paul. I think you'll think so, but whoever it is, will be amazing. And you come back here and join us. In the meantime, remember that happiness is a choice, and you can always choose to be happy first. I'll see you next week.