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References for Today's Show
Hello, and welcome to the How to Choose happiness and freedom Show. I'm your host Lauren foster happiness teacher and founder of be happy first, as a certified Life Mastery consultant, masters of wisdom and meditation teacher and primal health coach, I'm on a mission to help 1 million women learn to be happy and free on purpose, healthy, wealthy, and joyfully living life on your own terms. Happiness is a choice and you can always choose to be happy first, thanks so much for being here. Now on to today's episode. Hey there, and welcome to the first episode of The Year of the How to Choose happiness and freedom show. This is 2021 it's going to be an amazing year. This is the time of year that we often will make new year's resolutions that we will decide to try again to reach goals that we have missed in the past or maybe to create new goals. And I have most of my life in a very avid New Year's resolution. But in recent years, I've kind of looked at that differently. And that sometimes it feels like when we set these resolutions for the new year, we kind of set ourselves up for failure. And we also kind of beat up on ourselves for having failed in past years. So in the decades and decades that I did do New Year's resolutions, I would go back and look at my journals and look at my old resolutions. And they were the same year after year after year. And every time that I looked at those and saw that I hadn't achieved them was just kind of, you know, be mad at myself and beat myself up. And you know, not really a good thing. As I've grown and learned and evolved, I've began to use the new year, of course, to enjoy that fresh slate feeling of beginning a new calendar year. But also to kind of not give it such a naked such a big deal, if you know what I mean. So that the projects that were began last year continuing on, and you know, maybe some projects that got abandoned, get pulled back out and brushed off and refreshed and but thinking of life more as like an evolution and as a continuing type of journey that doesn't have a definitive end to one year and beginning to another in 2020. And the energy that's going on around us right now is so very much mad at 2020. And talking about all the turmoil and talking about all the trauma and, and the drama. And you know how this is the worst year ever. And even though I've spent the last month pretty isolated, and out of touch, I can still feel this energy, it's everywhere. It's permeating everything and I was very complacently kind of falling into that type of feeling, too. And going at 2020 was just a sucky year. And you know, and nothing good happened. And so let's just start over for 2021. Well, then, a couple of things happened. The podcast platform that I use is called buzzsprout. And they sent me an email that was the year in summary of 2020. That said, you published 73 episodes in 18 156 minutes of content. And I feel like wow, you know, this was not a year in which nothing happened. This was a year in which great things happened. And then I got a note from Karen Flaherty who is my Human Design coach. And her note, you know, was said that we did great things this year, we learned about human design, I increased my knowledge of who I really am and how I'm hardwired and what my natural tendencies in this life are. And I participated in a book that is an international bestseller. So I'm an international best selling author in 2020. That's an amazing thing. So that and that feeling is so much better and so much more positive than saying what a bad year this was that I decided to go and make a list of all of the wonderful things that happened. In 2020 I performed a wedding ceremony for my best friend. I read all kinds of books, both fiction and nonfiction. I took all kinds of classes on different ways of meditating on other personal development type of courses, to keep continuing to grow as a person and to learn things that I can then turn around and share with you that will help enrich your life and give you tools to learn how to choose happiness and freedom every day, all the time. And so I decided to make a list of all the things that happened in 2020. I signed a publishing contract for a new book, I took marketing classes and business classes and branding classes, and did all kinds of things to increase my impact and increase my effectiveness and increase my own happiness and fulfillment in the way that I'm living my life. So what are some things that were great about 2024 you write I write a list of the things that were amazing before you put this year away, and, and head off into a new year with new intentions and, and new viewpoints and new perspectives? What kinds of things to do accomplish? Did you write a book? Did you complete a class of any kind? Did you read a book? Did you read 30 books or 300? books? Did you enhance relationships in your life? In the midst of all of the turmoil of doing things differently, and staying at home and increasing video communications? Did your gratitude for the time that you get to spend with your family and friends increase? Did you learn some things? Did you learn some things about yourself? Did you adjust and adapt to new things in a way that showed you your power that showed you the power of your own perspective? And did you learn to make the best of things and to teach yourself to have a more positive mindset? Did you form some new good habits or break some old bad habits? Did you try some new things that you had never had the time or the opportunity or the inclination to try before, make this list and see how awesome it makes you feel and spend time with it. Spend some time. Just going back through I you know, I had some great trips with my family and great celebrations with them, I developed a deeper, more intimate relationship with my sister, who we'd sort of started to drift away over the last years and last year, we were able to celebrate and bring that sisterhood back together. What are some great things that happened for you in 2020 love that year, cherish that year, take all the learning and the gifts that came from that. Now that brings us to New Year's resolutions. And it may be putting a different spin on the way that you make your resolutions for the year. Getting ready for this, I did some research to see what the top resolutions are of people in the United States for 2021. And I didn't find really many surprises, but maybe a small surprise. So one study said that the top resolutions were getting more exercise, eating better, spending more time with family and friends, losing weight, living more economically, and spending less time on social media. And if you look in the links to our the show notes to wherever you're listening to this podcast, then I'll provide the links to that. So you can look at it more specifically if you'd like to. And then another study was fitness, losing weight, saving money, improving diet. And a third study had the areas of resolutions or the categories as health, self improvement, money, family, love and career Those were the top six. Some interesting things about this not really that surprising that physical body things were in the top five and nearly every study, but losing weight wasn't necessarily so prevalent. So exercising and eating better, that that's that's a good sign for humanity, that we are thinking more about our health instead of defining ourselves by a number on the scale. And it's really awesome that spending more time with family and friends showed up in there. And also interesting that instead of making more money or attracting more money or you know improving your career that the trend in the money category is towards saving. We're going to talk a little bit about each of those and how we might look at these types of resolutions in a more empowering type of way. First of all, let's look at the resolutions that are about our bodies, about our weight, about exercising about nutrition. And turn that kind of upside down and look at it in a different way. Instead of saying, I'm going to exercise more, as my resolution for this year, what if we took all of the body related topics and turn them into, I'm going to have a great relationship with my body, I am going to learn to love and respect and honor my body, and to get in tune with it and listen to what my perfectly unique body blondes. So as far as exercise goes, there are all kinds of preconceived notions that we have been taught by society and fitness culture, about what the right exercises are. And an effort to make a cookie cutter solution that works for everyone. We've fallen into patterns of chronic cardio that is not effective and is not really good for you, forcing ourselves into exercise routines that we don't like that we don't find pleasure or joy, and but we've just forced ourselves through. And anything that you approach from that that kind of attitude that isn't done with joy. And positive expectation is not only going to be miserable while you're doing it, but it's not going to have lasting results for what you want. So if you're one of these people that has losing weight as one of your resolutions, I bet a lot of money, that that's not the first time that's been your resolution. And you might have even succeeded in the past and experienced that that weight comes back, and usually brings quite a few friends along with it. Approaching any of these aspects of your physical body of your health and fitness, from that point of view, is not going to be effective for you in the long run. Instead of having a resolution that this is the year I'm gonna lose weight, exercise, eat right? Instead decide that this is the year that you're going to develop an amazing, wonderful two way relationship with your special unique body. And when you are tuned into what it is that your body wants, and you are open to ideas as to how your body wants to move, then suddenly, this becomes a fluid thing that that is natural, that is fun. That is an enjoyable exploration. So you, you hear about things that you want to try and you try them. And you see if your body likes them, you see if you enjoy them, you see if this light your soul up. So walking or hiking in nature, maybe what you and your body loves the most or Pilates or yoga, or lifting weights, or jumping on a trampoline, there are so many options out there of ways to move your body that you can have fun just trying them, trying them out and seeing in an attitude of fun and exploration, and checking in with your body and your soul as to what you really enjoy. And make that your resolution to have a great relationship with your body. And to have a great relationship with food. If you're in tune with your body, it will give you unmistakable signals as to when you are hungry and unmistakable signals as to when you're satisfied. All of the other reasons for eating whatever it is that you eat, and whatever quantities that you eat are out the window. Because this is no longer according to someone else's plan or someone else's diet, which is screams of deprivation and forcing your body into a size or shape that someone else pre determined. But instead you are developing a love and enjoyment of food and all different kinds of food. And instead of making some things off limits, and then feeling bad, because you ate those things because you wanted them because they were off limits. You see that circle that you create what so I'm not allowed to have carbs is going to ignite every rebellious bone in your body. And then you're going to white knuckle it and use your willpower to stay away from carbs for as long as you possibly can, until your willpower doesn't last someone brings chips and cookies into the house and you binge on all of them. Then you beat yourself up because you did that and then you start over and begin the cycle of of will and deprivation and failure and abuse all over again. Whereas if you begin to tune And listen to what your body wants, you'll know the right amount of carbs, you'll know the right amount of protein, you'll know the right amount of fat, you'll know the the quantities that you want, and what times a day your body wants to eat. And that pattern is specific to you. And you might be a type of person that there is that some days you eat a lot. Some days you eat a little, sometimes you skip breakfast, sometimes you skip dinner, but you're going according to what your body wants, and what is the right type of pattern for you. Other people have bodies that thrive on routine, and they want to have breakfast at the same time every day, and they want to eat generally the same types of food all the time, other people really crave variety. And the only way to learn which is the healthy path for you the the the correct the thriving, the happy, joyous and free path for you is to get in tune with your body and start to listen and start to pay attention. Have a great relationship with your body, have a great relationship with movement, have a great relationship with food. And watch how that feeling of fluidly living your life. And each and every moment in each and every day, according to what feels good to you begins to unfold into a awesome happy body that your body knows that you are taking care of it. And you know that your body is in service of you, your best friends living in perfect harmony, each giving to the other in the ways that that are wanted and needed in that moment, change your resolutions about your body and about fitness and health and food to just developing great relationships with those. Now, let's talk next about money. It was interesting to me that the trends that I saw in my research were towards saving money towards spending more economically, instead of as have been in past years earning more money, career advancements and that kind of thing. And only, you know, if there are money issues in your money topics in your resolutions, and why they're there. And what your approach to them is, do you have a resolution of spending less money or saving more money? And is this because of a perceived lack? That you think there's not more money out there that you better hoard what you have that that that's a very logical point of view, and and doesn't serve you. So have a look at that and your attitude about money and abundance, because the truth is that there is way more money for everybody out there in the universe for everybody to have everything that they want. And to live their lives in exactly the way that they want to more than enough, you need to believe that someone else has taken a bigger slice of the pie so that you have to take less, or that if you take a bigger slice, you're going to be depriving someone else because neither are true. When the demand or the need the want the attraction for more exist, the universe just makes more. This is absolutely positively the truth if you look at it in just within the lifetime of this country, money used to be beads and furs and, you know, lumber and tobacco. And now there are trillions and trillions and trillions of dollars floating out there. They're their cyber currency, where did they come from came from an expanding universe, that is always going to have enough and more than enough for everybody. Instead of deciding that you're going to save or you're going to spend less or even that you're going to earn more, decide that you're going to have an amazing relationship with money, and abundance. decide that you're going to cultivate an attitude of attracting everything that you need and everything that you want. All in perfect time. Maybe instead of resolving to spend less or save more, you intend to be a magnificent money manager. I keep a spreadsheet where I keep track of all of my money out of an attitude of reverence and love and appreciation for all of my pennies. That spreadsheet is entitled magnificent money managing because when you manage what you have, with reverence and expectation of abundance, then the universe is going to give you more t harv. eker has some really great things to say about all of that. Examine your relationship with money. and cultivate an attitude of abundance. Now I love that self improvement and spending more time with family and friends showed up as in the top five into in more than one of these studies, because that that indicates a shift towards what our values are. Now I love money. And there's not anything wrong with wanting to attract a lot of money. the more money you have, the more you can serve, the more you can help, the more you can, you know, contribute to the expansion of the universe. But at the same time, abundance isn't just money. abundance is is the love and the joy that we find in interacting with the people that we love in our lives. And I believe that in 2020, this got highlighted to a lot of people that our relationships are to be treasured, and revered and honored, and taken care of a nurtured. And I love that a lot of people are looking towards that. What if, in each moment of this new year, you resolve you intend you choose happiness and freedom. It's very simple to retrain your brain to trend towards happiness and freedom and away from pain and lock. But it's not easy thought patterns have been ingrained in your brain throughout your life. And you can't just flip a switch and decide to think in a different way. But if you make a decision to use every single moment of your life, to teach yourself a new way of looking at things, then you can rewrite the information in your brain and create new neuro pathways and new patterns and new ways of looking at life. Instead of having resolutions this year, make it your quest to learn to choose happiness and freedom. And your body is a wonderful place to start. Because your body goes with you everywhere. And no matter what you think is lacking or going wrong with your body in this moment, whether it's extra weight, or pain, or disease, or any other kind of affliction that you may feel that you have for that for those things, there are 1000s and 1000s of other things that are functioning perfectly in your body. And so in every moment, you can choose to give your attention to your pain, or to the extra weight or to whatever it is that you think is not right about your body. Or you can say you know what those things are going to work themselves out, I'm going to put my attention on all of the things that are going right, I'm going to have gratitude and appreciation and love and reverence for my amazing lungs that provide oxygen for my body all day and all night, every single moment without any interference from me, I'm going to give thanks and marvel at the wonder that is my heart that pumps blood throughout my body without one bit of attention from me all by itself, all of the cells of your body that are doing their very, very best with everything that you give them to grow and regenerate and perform all of the miraculous functions of your body. You can choose to focus on all of the things that are going right, instead of getting your attention and therefore your energy and the manifestation that is going to follow to the things that are going wrong. Because wherever you're putting your eyes, that is where your growth is going to be. If you have a scary diagnosis, don't let that become the star of your life. Instead, this will work itself out this can heal. I'm going to put my attention on the things that are going right. There are so many awesome teachers out there like I've been studying Dr. Joe dispenza. Lately who has so many amazing stories to tell about how the physiological changes in bodies as a result of meditation can now be recorded and documented and shown to the scientific community and stories of how people have healed themselves from chronic illnesses and deadly illnesses to and restored their bodies to perfect health using these these meditation methods and you know other stories of you know, manifesting love and manifesting money and career opportunities and building businesses and building amazing creative lives by rewriting the patterns in your mind in your body, towards abundance and towards success and health and happiness and freedom instead of reliving old patterns. of lack and, and pain and heartache. So making that your quest for 2021 is my wish for you to learn to look on the bright side, find the silver lining as trite as this thing sound. This is a way of retraining your brain to look for the positive, unexpected positive. Alright, I'm going to be back next week with an amazing guest named Kumari. We're going to talk about energy healing and about meditation. And a lot of it will be a surprise to me as well as I'll learn this with you. In the meantime, make a decision that you're the CO creator of your life, and that you're going to create it the way that you want to remember that happiness is a choice, and you can always choose to be happy first, happy new year.