How To Choose Happiness and Freedom Show

Journey to Success! With Ann Franzese

March 03, 2021 Lauren G. Foster Season 2 Episode 82
How To Choose Happiness and Freedom Show
Journey to Success! With Ann Franzese
Chapters
How To Choose Happiness and Freedom Show
Journey to Success! With Ann Franzese
Mar 03, 2021 Season 2 Episode 82
Lauren G. Foster

Ann is an executive coach, the CEO and founder of Journey to Success, creator of the Passion to Productivity Blueprint, an internationally recognized author and a leading authority in helping others cultivate emotional intelligence and improve mindset to allow access to new possibilities and expanded dreams. She has over twenty years of experience in the corporate sector, specifically sales/sales management, performance, business and organizational development, team-building, leadership, and succession planning. She has also served on the boards of non-profits, with roles in operations, major capital campaigns, organizational design, and fundraising. In addition to degrees from the University of Tennessee and Northwestern University, Kellogg Graduate School of Management, Ann holds coaching certifications from the International Coaching Federation, the Institute of Professional Excellence in Coaching (IPEC) and the CreatingWe Institute. Ann resides in the Chicago suburbs with her son and daughter.

My Mission is:

To inspire others to create and truly live a meaningful and aspiring life by elevating their internal courage to be curious and dream without fear or hesitation.

 

How I serve my clients:

I help my clients create a pathway and lean into their life journey.

My gift: a complimentary consultation. They can submit here. http://journeytosuccessforwomen.com/

Show Notes Transcript

Ann is an executive coach, the CEO and founder of Journey to Success, creator of the Passion to Productivity Blueprint, an internationally recognized author and a leading authority in helping others cultivate emotional intelligence and improve mindset to allow access to new possibilities and expanded dreams. She has over twenty years of experience in the corporate sector, specifically sales/sales management, performance, business and organizational development, team-building, leadership, and succession planning. She has also served on the boards of non-profits, with roles in operations, major capital campaigns, organizational design, and fundraising. In addition to degrees from the University of Tennessee and Northwestern University, Kellogg Graduate School of Management, Ann holds coaching certifications from the International Coaching Federation, the Institute of Professional Excellence in Coaching (IPEC) and the CreatingWe Institute. Ann resides in the Chicago suburbs with her son and daughter.

My Mission is:

To inspire others to create and truly live a meaningful and aspiring life by elevating their internal courage to be curious and dream without fear or hesitation.

 

How I serve my clients:

I help my clients create a pathway and lean into their life journey.

My gift: a complimentary consultation. They can submit here. http://journeytosuccessforwomen.com/

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

Hello, and welcome to today's episode of the How to Choose happiness and freedom Show. I'm your host, Lauren foster happiness teacher and founder of be happy first. And I'm so very excited today to continue on my quest to have all of my sister authors in the best selling book, The Art and truth of transformation for women on my show today, so I'm so delighted to have executive coach and friend saisie. With me today, hello, and

Ann Franzese:

Hi, I'm happy to be here.

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

Yay, I'm happy to be here too. We are. We're having a bit of technical issues this morning. But we are not going to let those bother me bother us. And we're gonna call it a Mercury Retrograde thing and assume that this time we're gonna everything's gonna be just perfect. So. So I always love for my guests to tell us your story about who you are and what you love and let our listeners get to know a little bit more about you.

Ann Franzese:

Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. I feel that the story evolves, right, we evolve as as we continue to progress in our lives. And right now I'm sitting in very cold, chilly Chicago. And that's this is a place where I've raised my family. And I moved to right after college. But a little bit about me, I did, I grew up in the south, I grew up in North Carolina and in Tennessee, and and then I decided to spread my wings. And as after college, I decided just to conquer the big city. Now I had one friend who was living up here, I came up to Chicago, I had a free place to stay for just a little while and it was like, Okay, well, there gonna be a lot of jobs and big cities and, and so therein lies a lot of the oh my goodness, the adventures, some of them happy. And some of them not so happy a lot of lonely times during that time, but also a lot of kind of pushing within, and really finding out who I was who I was as a person. And as I was, you know, in my early days, I was more of an observer, I observed a lot, I really had dedication and determination. But I wasn't using my voice in certain ways. And so over time going into college and doing those things and looking at the world and and not thinking about judgment and a lot of those other things that placed upon ourselves. It just gave me this open feeling of Oh, my goodness, this is I can do it. I can do it. So here we are, right, because we move on in life, and we do things and and I'm and I am excited to talk about, you know, just that voice and getting into that for other people and how that works. Sometimes I think we hide it.

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

Yeah, yeah, finding our voice is very important thing for women especially. And so Anne's website, his journey to success.me. And wherever you're watching or listening, just look below. And there will be shownotes with the links to everything that we talked about today. And the link to get a free consultation with ANSYS start by telling us what what what we could hope to discover in a consultation and who might want to take advantage of that.

Ann Franzese:

Sure. Yeah, absolutely. Well, the book that we are sister authors on is the art and truth of transformation for women. And so what I wanted to offer up is a consultation to help you during the consultation is a discovery call. It's really just a conversation. It's real simple. It's not it's, it's not over the top, it's, it's just like we're having a conversation right here. It's just a little conversation. And it's 30 minutes or you know, we'll you know, trying to see where the conversation goes. But it's to help you think about the difference between having transitions versus having a transformation. So a transition is like, Okay, I'm gonna I'm turning 20 and then all of a sudden, I'm 30 What did I do during that time, right? Where the transformation is, in my 20s, I dug in, and I did all these things, I had some goals and aspirations and, and I achieved something, maybe, okay, so that, like, you went on to the next step, something changed within you, you dug into something, maybe something was difficult or challenging your heart, or you had this goal and aspiration you wanted to do and you check the box, it could be an easy transformations can be, you know, easy or they could be difficult. So, what I want to do is help people understand or let them come in and talk about their goals and aspirations. And then really, maybe they can decide through that conversation that oh my goodness, I didn't realize that I had that goal that just by talking about it. That's popping up for me right now. So it's about seeing what's going to pop up for you right now in the moment, right, that's what the consultations about.

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

Yeah, the one of the biggest challenges that I find in, in working with women is that we are so or people, not not not just women, but we're so ingrained in what we were taught to do what we were expected to do what we have seen life give us that we lose our ability to imagine beyond that, and to figure out and so it's very important to me to help people discover how they can both be successful and happy, you know, doing things that they love. And so many of us spend eight or 10 or 12 hours a day, doing something to pay the bills that we don't love. And and that feels like an incomplete life. And so I want to delve more into that. But in and of course, I read your story, and you went from a sales career, which is I have a sales career as well into executive coaching. How did how did you get there?

Ann Franzese:

Yeah, how did I get there? So it's, um, that's, it's that journey to success, right? That is that I like to talk about and in. And that's exactly what I do when I work with my clients. So I think about intake, the some of the concepts and tools that I learned along the way. And for me, I had this I was I went into sales very naive, especially a Tennessee girl who was kind of shy and quiet. But I knew I wanted marketing, and I knew that that's what I wanted to do. And that's and I wanted to go after it. So during back during that time, there were three companies that had really good sales training programs, and, and those were office equipment companies, there was IBM, Xerox and Pitney Bowes. Those are the three companies. So. So anyway, I went through an extensive group of interviews, and I landed a job with Pitney Bowes. And it was awesome. I was couldn't be prouder than anything, right. My parents had wanted me to come home and send out resumes and like, oh, who's gonna get a sales job doing that? So, right, we have to step outside of our box a little bit. And, and sales. Oh, my goodness, what's so great about that? Is sales is something that we do every day, it's really just communicating and building a relationship with other people. So there's this stigma that we put on all kinds of words that we use in life. And sales is one of those things, and I so for me, just to go back to that story of how I transitioned, and it was sales, I got the job. And then they tell me how they're going to pay me. And I'm like, Whoa, okay, I owe 100%. commission is not really what I was looking for. But I went back, I thought about it, and then talked it over with my family. And, and ultimately, we work that out. And I was able to negotiate a higher draw, like who's negotiating a higher draw, but I had real bills to pay. These are not Tennessee prices were these were Chicago prices. So anyway, it was really cute. It was fun. It was learning, I had to learn how to speak up for myself, I had to learn how to say this, you know, I just need a little bit more money. And this is why and when you can just tell people and be truthful and honest and show who you are, it really makes a difference. And you know, there's there's no reason to be hiding. And there's no reason to be shy about it. It's either. I think that things are meant to be new. There's, there's a way there's an art to how we can talk about things, just be ourselves and let people know who you are. So anyway, that sales career was I spent my entire career there, I spent 10 years there, it was a wonderful opportunity to grow and learn. Every couple years, I had a new position. Mostly I was in sales management, and I'm managing a lot of people that are older and younger, and, and all in between. And so I had to learn how to delegate and be resourceful from the start. And people the culture was so wonderful during that time, that the that everyone stepped up, everyone stepped up to help. So I really got to learn best practices. They were, you know, top and best practices and all the things that they did. So all of that was amazing. And then then I went on and I asked him at one point in time, there wasn't the opportunity for promotion. But there was an opportunity, but I knew that I did want an opportunity to grow more. There's just something that I had learned from changing positions every couple years that hey, I like that. I like that little stimulation from growing some more. So then I thought about Okay, graduate school. And so I had this opportunity. They said that they would sponsor me and I went on to graduate school. And during that time I got married, I was in school, I was working and then my son starts to come along. So I had a lot of things where the stars were aligned. In a way that Superwoman couldn't be Superwoman, like that was just not going to cut it, thinking about the values and what we wanted in life and our family. And I did finish graduate school, I was able to give up my job at that point in time, and finish school and then go home and raise my kids for a while. And so I did that. And I volunteered a lot. I became that mom, I love being a mom. I mean, I think that's my number one job. I think that all of us that are moms feel, I mean, we all have those times, we're like, oh, what I get myself into, but we all have, we all have things that happen. So So anyway, so I went, I did that. And my, my former husband is in commercial real estate. And so he was at a time where he was building this practice. So we were, I was able to help him work on going from eye to team, and really building a high income because I knew the aspirations that I wanted in life, because what I was seeing, a lot of times, we don't know, what we want. All right, so So basically, you know, now we've gotten to the point where I definitely where, you know, we know that things like we can see the things we don't like versus the things that we do. Like, sometimes it's easier to see those things. And so by building on his business and working on things for him in what he was doing, then I could get the life back, I didn't have my husband working all the time, I actually could have him being able to attend my kids games and do things and be a part of our lives. So so that was really great. And I leaned into a lot of volunteering, I leaned into a lot of things. For my children, I really leaned into motherhood and, and all of those things that can make it happen. And ultimately, I got into coaching because I've learned through my early sales career days, when you actually look back and reflect and say, What do you like? What don't you like, if you could do anything? What would you do? And I love developing people, you know, and I love developing me like constantly I am. That's just something that inspires me is to always be learning something. So I like developing that. And others, it's not enough for me, I don't get a lot. I mean, yeah, I like it. But I love being able to help others reach where they want to go. And I think that you're similar. I mean, that's, you know, we like minded or like minded doing things that you like you're doing right now, that type of thing. So basically, that's how I got into coaching, and I love my coaching clients, I love being able to see them take that journey, and to really open their mind up. I think that's what coaching is all about. It's getting you to, you know, go from not a to b, but you might go from a to x to z, M, you go all over, you try things out, and we do things, but you have permission, it's learning about giving yourself permission, there's so much learning that goes on that really helps you to jump out. So

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

one of the things that is always interesting to me is that a lot of times, I think we talked about this before, it's hard to remember whether it was during the recording when we were talking by ourselves spoke whatever. Getting things lined up with what your heart wants, and who you want to be and who you want to be as a person, and how that fits into your career or the way that you earn a living and make money. And so talk to us a little bit about how you work through those sort of contrast if if, you know, and and the definition of success, you know, there's that, of course, you know, money is the the currency, the energy that we use to get things in this world. So it's you know, it's necessary, it's awesome. And I love money. But money does not necessarily equate to happiness. And so,

Ann Franzese:

yeah, I think you've pinpointed I mean, you said it exactly. Money as a currency until we start looking at that a lot of times coming out of the gate or seeing things around us. And when we're young and we don't have money, or we're thinking money has always been like a center. like someone's always talking about money, meaning when you're growing up, someone's talking about money, there's not enough or you've got so much you can do everything with so it at some point in time, the ones that don't have enough sometimes can be happier than the ones that have enough because the ones that have enough are always complaining about the money. So there is so if we look at money as that currency, it's just The trade off of this to this so that, hey, I can have food on the table, I can go to a nice restaurant, I can, you know, once a week or whatever it might be, or every day, it really depends people you get to, it's opening yourself up to choices. That's all right. So we get to choose. And there's some people that just are they, you know, they want to keep their money. And there's a reason that they want to keep it and save their money. And we all need to save and have money. And there are different principles around that I'm not here to tell you about how to use your money. But if you think of it in that context, that it allows us to do something and and then that goes back into the same thing, what success and how does that work, and, and your job. I do want to say I have young adults right now that are coming out of college looking for jobs. You know, it's a tough market with a pandemic and the things that are going on, it's tough, not only for college students, it's tough for anyone right now. And, and there are people that are sitting at home right now that have been at home for a year. And wherever you're living, depending on where you're living in the country, you could have been shut down all this time. If you're living in Florida, I will tell you, I've been down to Florida a lot, because life is moving and grooving down there. So so it's really it's really different and, and looking at the snowstorms that we just had. So now Texas, I have family in Texas, my niece and nephew went sledding. Yesterday, outside of Austin,

Unknown:

they have almost as

Ann Franzese:

much snow as we have in Chicago, it was unbelievable. The new pool they're putting in, it's covered with snow. So it's crazy. So things happen in this world. And I think that the the key here and go back to what success, that's one of the things I like to work with my clients on is to help them create their success formula. And success is different for everyone. And it's different because we're all unique. And and so that journey and what kind of jobs should we be in and all that type of thing, I'm just going to say that, from within, I have a strong belief that we were born with a purpose. And that purpose is for us to continue to unfold. It's like the onion and peel back the onion. And we may be going on this particular path. And we go on that path for a little bit. And then if that paths not working, if the doors keep shutting, we need to wake up and say, am I supposed to push this door open? Or is this door supposed to open for me? Right? And there are differences in that. And if we're not aware of how those are, then then that's a starting point is to gain awareness. So once we can gain awareness, then we can sometimes accept that that door is supposed to be shot. That means that that door is closed, and I'm supposed to go to try door number two or number three, right? And, and so then when we can do that we can where where we accept it, and then we can move into action, we actually open the door and we go. And and that's what we need to try and not be afraid that what's behind that next door.

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

Does that make sense? Yes, it makes perfect sense. And and and it's such an amazing philosophy if, if this path is not available to you, it's only because there's a better path that you know, you're meant to walk on past that opportunity because a better opportunity lies right ahead and to you know, have the feeling that okay, that that that's all right, because something better is coming. And that in this way is how we deal with quote, failure, which, you know, in my mind, there's no such thing. There's just you've just discovered one way that something can't be done. Right. Right.

Ann Franzese:

When you go try another.

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

Yeah, exactly. So I talk to me about how you would advise people who they don't love what they're doing. But they can't conceive of a way that they could make a living I'm a really good example. Not Not really but in the past. I'm an I still have a sales career. That's how my bills get paid. I've been in advertising sales, most of my life. And I don't hate it, it's, it's, it's a good product I like by clients, it's, you know, it's fine. It's a very good way to earn a living, but right my heart, you know, my heart is the book that I'm working on in the end the coaching programs that I'm working on and the those are things that if I won the lottery and had billions of dollars, I would continue to do that. So that to me is the perfect alignment and, and I'm absolutely fine with exploring how that path goes and exactly what the specifics of how that unfolds. Unfold But what would you say to me if I couldn't conceive of that? If I said, I, this is what I know how to do. This is how I make my living. But this is not what I want to do, how to coach me to figuring out what it is that you really want to do and, and turning that into the way that you make your way in the world. Sure, sure.

Ann Franzese:

So I might ask you, you know, how do you what's what's most important to you

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

said that there, there's a there was an inch on your website, as I was researching and preparing for the show about curiosity, and asking the questions about what Yeah, what? What if you could spend your time doing anything you wanted to do? How would you spend it? Yeah, that that's a perfect and amazing start.

Ann Franzese:

And if I can parlay on that a little bit? Exactly. Sometimes, I mean, of course, a coaching session, we're going to go through and and i and i do believe the answers are all within we're still that onion to peel back. And and then when you can have that aha of diving deeper and going, Oh, okay, that does feel good. That's, that feels good. That's what I, then I'd like to do this next. Sometimes it's very simple. It's a very simple thing, because it's about each week going into action in a different way. Not, it doesn't have to be a different way, you might be working on the same thing. But with what you just said, right, you are paralleling something, what you're doing is you know, that you need to get the bills paid. That's responsibility, right. And you know, that you love to connect with other people, and to bring out the voices of others and let others be seen. And you like to be that liaison, that facilitator for that, and you know, in your heart that you're getting that. So in life, I believe that I believe in the plan, there's a study that's put out, and we probably some people might know about it. And some people might not know about it, but it's the wheel of life. And that wheel of life talks about nine major segments in our lives, our personal, like social, our personal lives, and our family, our finances, like our money, our health, they're all these segments in our life. And ultimately, like a juggler, it would be nice at that wheel was full all the time. And it could roll, right. But the simple exercise is to just take that wheel and highlight what's working good rate each segment zero to 10. And then you look to see where the where the tire might be flat. Okay, now, just because the tires flat in a certain area, career, let's say, okay, maybe it's flattened career, it doesn't mean that you that you might not even want to start on career, you may want to start on your health first, before you go to career, but it's highlighting for you, oh, I need to have intentional focus on these aspects. Because if I can pull up a little bit at a time around that wheel, ultimately, that creates greater happiness and joy. So So what you're doing is you're pulling up, you're saying, Okay, I need to do this, right, I have bills to pay, and I want certain things, you're paying the bills, because you want certain things right? And, and then that's fine, and it's perfectly fine. And then you want that, that other piece of it for fulfillment. Now that could be the balance, that could be a good balance for you that works. And then you might find that as you go along this journey, there are different people that you meet different things that you're learning, and you might be able to monetize for that, that make an impact type of thing, right? But right now, it's how is it serving you today? How does it make you feel today when you do this?

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

I I love my life. I have a happiness teacher and it's I mean, our power is all in this moment. There's so there's, I don't have regrets. I know that I'll never get it done and I can't get it wrong. And so I'm perfectly happy with you know, watching the journey unfold. But that that's I taught myself over a long period of time to have that that mindset and that that's not the norm that's not the way I was 20 years ago. And and that's not the way my students and clients are nor yours, that it's that sometimes life can feel like such a struggle, especially when you know there there is this thing of of money that you know when there's not enough it's very easy to have stress about that and have anxiety about that and right.

Ann Franzese:

Yeah, well the stress and anxiety all of those things. Now here's the here's the one thing I wanted to mention to the youngsters already than the ones that are, you know, just like what we're doing. It comes to a point in I understand that too. But when I went after, when I was looking for that first sales job, and I wrote a little bit about it in the chapter of the book, I highlighted it. But when I came out, I didn't have any experience. So I went to places and they're like, what's your experience? I don't have any. Well, I'll go get some and come back. Well, that's easier said than done. Right? So I'm thinking, What am I going to do? I mean, you know, moving around and round. And so to find the job that I found, because I didn't really have any connections in Chicago, I looked in the paper. That's how I found the interviews. But at my first job, I needed something right away. And that job, I thought I wanted hotel sales. I thought I wanted to be a flight attendant, actually. And I couldn't do that because my eyes didn't meet that was the criteria is that were contacts back then you couldn't wear contacts back then. So so that was so that's a door the closed on me, right.

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

interesting side note, I also wanted to be a flight attendant, but I wasn't, I wasn't tall enough. So

Ann Franzese:

there we go. See? So it's, it's this like, Okay, well, they're telling me I can't do that. But it's not. They're telling me I can't do it. That's okay. I didn't look at it as I'm pushing my way. No, I'm just going to see what else unfolds. So So I came up. And in order to find just my part time job, I saw an ad, I was thinking, How can I go around the box, this is why I tell a lot of people to be an ant. Think like an ant, ant ant, if it can't get to where it wants to go, right? It goes up and over, it goes up and around, it goes wherever it can go. So sometimes we need to do that. And that's what I did, I stood in line, because I knew that they were hiring people, service people for the hotel, the new hotel reopening. So I went down there in my business suit. And I just stood in line with the other people that were looking for ballet jobs, and different things like that. And so I stood there and waited until I could get to the right people. And that's how I actually was able to get a little bit of money before I could get to my next thing a few weeks later. But that's what I would say to people is that kind of have an idea, press forward on it a little and young young people coming out with a job, get some experience by just whatever it might be a Starbucks is a great place to meet, be able to meet people have a little social life and do things some whether it's bartending, all, everything shut down. I mean, there's all kinds of things that you can do. But there are ways you might take a job that you don't love. But there's something to learn in every job. So that that's a big takeaway is that there's something to learn everywhere. And there's something to learn from a boss that you don't really like, there are takeaways because one day you, if you aspire to be the boss, you'll know what not to do, right. So I always say just get your foot somewhere, but don't stay if it's not working. But just get enough experience so that you can shift out. But keep thinking and dreaming and learning during this time of COVID. If anything, all these things are online, people are offering so much free stuff to look at and do. And just so kind of step outside your box, right?

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

We like to say step to the edge of the light you can see and then you once you're there, you can drive all the way across the country only being able to see a little part a little bit in front of you. But once you move forward, then you'll be able to see more and see. And that's

Ann Franzese:

the part that's hard for people to move forward. All right, it is very hard. And that's one of the things I just wanted to highlight today was this concept of moving outside your comfort zone. Right. And and so a lot of times people people are don't understand it. The easiest way for me to kind of show you this right, is that we think of knowing that the comfort zone is a place that we reside because it's safe, and it feels good. All right. And the comfort zone is a good place to be we don't want to always be anxious or on edge or, or frustrated or all of those things. So sometimes we hide out in if I call it the circle, the comfort zone, we hide out in the circle, because because it feels cozy, it feels good, right? So but sometimes, when we get inside that circle, we could let's think of the pandemic. Now. I don't know what you think of yourself and what you did when the pandemic first started. Like there's unknown uncertainty, where we don't know if we can go outside or come inside. We don't know what you know, what will happen to us that we didn't know about masks. We just didn't know a lot about what we should be doing. So some people stayed in. And I mean, most people stayed in we stayed on. What are we doing? I think a lot of people we benched on Netflix, we binge on lots of TV or lots of other things. We dove into work in a different way. It was very difficult for students. that transition from going from classes to online, very, very difficult because some are so used to that social connection. And now the universities didn't know how to handle the online, I was thinking they needed to follow like Phoenix Learning Center, because they've been doing it look for the guys. And they've been doing it right. So there's all kinds of things. So when this stuff happens to you, we have to think and that's a prime example. How did I react to the unknown? Was? What was my risk tolerance there? Okay, was I risk tolerant or risk adverse? And that if we were on a sliding scale of zero to 10, about how tolerant we are of risk? Will we take a risk being a 10? Or will we risk adverse via one, right, we have to think of where we lie on that. So in a comfort zone, let's take a circle, if it were the circle, and put yourself as a.in the middle. Okay, so to break through the comfort zone, right, what will happen is we get we get complacent, we could get stagnant, we could even get bored. Finally, when we get bored enough, we say, Okay, then not enough, right? I got to get out of here, I got to open the front door, and I got to walk outside. So the.is going to the edge of the circle, you just draw that line, what do you do when you get to that line? Do you? Do you go? Or do you say, um, I don't know. And that's going to depend on what's on the other side. But it really is not even depending on what's on the other side, it depends on what you think is on the other side. So it's our mind that gets in the way. So if we have experienced every time we cross the line, okay, try to push through the door, or something, we experienced pushback. So we're like, I can't do that. I'm afraid to go because it hurts, right? Or if we go to the edge of the line, and we've been successful pushing through it, like we on the other side, we know hey, there's happiness on the other side, whoo, it's exciting over there. There's adventure. It might be the Wild West, but I'm gonna get out there and go to it. That is when we can break through the comfort zone. Okay. And there are many reasons to be able to do that. And I just touched on those being able to take risks, right? So when you can take risks. When you push yourself outside. You're not just sitting there, you're not sitting on the couch, you're learning more about you. You're learning to say, How did that feel for me when I went over? Wow. Oh, what was it like, you know, kind of an amusement park ride? Did that one like spinny rides work for me roller coasters don't. Okay. So how did I feel? How do you feel when that happens? And I think that that's what's interesting. So that's one of the reasons is that we can then dive into seeing who we are a little more and then become more confidence because we push it over. Right? So we can become more competent. And then there's that learning on the other side. Now we have to now it is it can be it can be work. But is it fun work? Do we get to play there? Is that something different new, and, and we have to practice if our mind is not taking us to that new and different? We need to practice that by just taking little steps, like, try a new food that week. Or try a new direction, like change your route somewhere where you're going, instead of going to the grocery store this way, try another way and see what you see out there. Do you follow me?

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

Yes, little small things like that and liberating yourself that stepping over that line out of your comfort zone is not going to kill you.

Ann Franzese:

Right, you're

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

probably going to survive, it'd be better for it. It'd

Ann Franzese:

be changing. Yeah. Now jumping out of a plane. That's a little I'm risking first. Now, some people when they go through a major event in their life. They say what the heck. I always wanted to do this. I don't have any responsibilities on I'm off right. Now. That still doesn't feel good to me. Right? I'm not saying it's on my list. That is on your list. Yeah,

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

I want to jump out of a plane.

Ann Franzese:

Oh, well, I think you can go into one of those round tanks I might do that might be better. And be like you jumping out of planes.

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

I've done that before that in Gatlinburg.

Ann Franzese:

Oh, great.

Unknown:

Yeah. That wasn't then

Ann Franzese:

that might then that gives you that hey, that's okay. That's a good feeling. Right? Yeah, absolutely. Oh, good. So so those are things I mean, I think that going outside your comfort zone, it's been proven that you then when you move this is some of the things that I talk about with my clients too. We talk about how our brain works with our thoughts and emotions. And, and and there has been scientific research that shows that there is a connection between our heart and our brain. And there's the brain and the heart. So they're all intertwined talking to themselves. So how How we feel is what we're telling our brain. And and then the brain reacts in one of two ways. And so if it's if we feel you know, they're like, our energy can be like negative or positive, that's really mild way to put it. But the the technical words are catabolic, meaning, bad energy, or low energy and anabolic meaning good energy working for us and the other energy, catabolic is working against us. So things that work against us are fear and anger and frustration, but we need them sometimes, okay, we need them to protect us. Because that gut feeling that we go, ooh, that doesn't feel safe, then listen, right. But we also have to know when does it hold us back so we can control how we feel once we're more aware of when this happens, this is how I tend to respond, do I need to respond that way? Or could I respond in a different way. And if we learn to respond in the way that helps us, all of a sudden, then we can open up that creativity and the innovation and the ability to say, Oh, I can get through that line. That's it, I want to go see what's over there. It might be not what I want. But it's better than staying where I am.

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

back to the basics of choices. Yeah, the flip side of the comfort zone thing is that a lot of times our comfort zone is really not the best place for us that, you know, we're not in a job that we love. We're not in a relationship that we love. But it's like the devil we know, is better than exploring out and seeing, you know, well, it might be worse out there, but being able to change your thinking to go you know, but what if it's better? Yeah, and what if it's better,

Ann Franzese:

and it goes back to that purpose again, okay, we are designed for a purpose. And so that's when I talk about the doors that shot and then and the doors that are open. If we are not able to move outside of our comfort zone that little bit that just that little bit of adrenaline that takes us over there. We don't want to be stress, stress, stress, frustration, but a little bit, if we're not able to move out and try things, then we don't really get to know who we are that uniqueness that's inside, we won't we will not find, you know that, you know, here I was able to move this way in my career and then move this way, my career and what was the common denominator, I kept coming back to connecting with people and developing them really inspiring others, right. And there's so many different ways that you can do it. But I would never in my ever, ever, ever have thought that I would gone after and written a book. So to go towards that book, again, is that that was just a place to find a voice. I I joined publishing you and the other authors, because I wanted to see what would it be like to write a book. And that was a healing period for me to, to do these things. When I went into coach training, it was a healing period for me to go through that type of understanding that I can be in control of my emotions, I can understand how other people are feeling. And, and it gives us that opportunity to bring something out. So not only is it elevating what we're doing, I mean, how much growth Did you get from the book.

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

And it just keeps, it just keeps happening, you know, all of the, all of the interactions that that come about with my sister authors and, and yeah, that that's a continuing journey, that was just a wonderful catalyst into a new phase of life.

Ann Franzese:

It's a connectivity that, that we always have and need. And we as human beings, we need, we need connectivity, we need that that's just part of our makeup. And some might think we don't need it, or I don't need those people. But we do need people,

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

social animals. And you know, the The other thing about the book is that it took a lot of courage to and for myself and for a lot of the other women in the story to tell very vulnerable stories and very, you know, put ourselves in a very exposed place by by sharing these stories of transformation, which, you know, when you take a step in courage, that's really a great opportunity for growth and for discovering other facets and revealing other facets of yourself.

Ann Franzese:

Absolutely. And then that's what's wonderful. There are many, many stories in the book that someone could relate to and might just give them that courage to say she did it I can do. Right.

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

Yeah. Yeah. So we are so absolutely and totally unique, but we are absolutely not alone in this journey. Okay, well, I think that we that the time spent kind of fragmented but it feels like about the right length of time and say hello to Romeo, everybody. Ramy is there, again, and is offering a free consultation to our listeners, we'll provide the link for you to go and take advantage of that. And you know, give it a try and see what you can learn about what opportunities are out there for you and what choices you can make to improve your life. Is there anything else that you wanted to add before we wrap it up? And so that's a little bit of timing, and it's been having internet issues all day and so we have lost her but it was time to say goodbye. Anyway, I'm going to be back with you next week with another great interview. In the meantime, remember that happiness is a choice, and you can always choose to be happy first. I'll see you next week.