How To Choose Happiness and Freedom Show

From Entrapment to Empowerment with Margot Zaher!

July 15, 2021 Lauren G. Foster
How To Choose Happiness and Freedom Show
From Entrapment to Empowerment with Margot Zaher!
Chapters
How To Choose Happiness and Freedom Show
From Entrapment to Empowerment with Margot Zaher!
Jul 15, 2021
Lauren G. Foster

Here is all of the extra, insider information, resources and free stuff from today's episode. We hope you will reach out to Margot for free gifts and more information and stay in touch with the Be Happy First Team. All our love! Be Happy First! Learn more at www.laurengfoster.com! 

Margot is an empowerment and relationship coach who helps people get unstuck from stagnant lives and relationships by befriending fear, transforming beliefs, and shifting from overwhelm into inspired action so that they become unstoppable in the pursuit of their heart’s desires. 

Margot Zaher, who holds a MBA and a Masters in Psychology,  is a certified professional coach, and hypnotherapist.  She has over 20 years’ experience helping hundreds of clients get unstuck from mindset traps and manifest their best lives and relationships.  She is the author of the Amazon bestseller “The Golden Cage: from Entrapment to Empowerment” where she guides readers through a step by step approach to identify and break free of Life Cage’s. 

She has been featured in Authority Magazine, Thrive Global, Bustle, appeared as a guest on numerous podcasts, and has been a keynote speaker for the Broomfield Chamber of Commerce, American Women’s Business Association, Rotary International, and Kiwanis.  She is an executive contributor for Brainz magazine. 

You can sign up for a free coaching intro session or learn more about her group coaching programs at www.MargotZaher.com.

Lastly, you can learn 8 proven steps to transform anger into connection in your relationships by downloading her free anger report at www.DownloadAngerReport.com

Show Notes Transcript

Here is all of the extra, insider information, resources and free stuff from today's episode. We hope you will reach out to Margot for free gifts and more information and stay in touch with the Be Happy First Team. All our love! Be Happy First! Learn more at www.laurengfoster.com! 

Margot is an empowerment and relationship coach who helps people get unstuck from stagnant lives and relationships by befriending fear, transforming beliefs, and shifting from overwhelm into inspired action so that they become unstoppable in the pursuit of their heart’s desires. 

Margot Zaher, who holds a MBA and a Masters in Psychology,  is a certified professional coach, and hypnotherapist.  She has over 20 years’ experience helping hundreds of clients get unstuck from mindset traps and manifest their best lives and relationships.  She is the author of the Amazon bestseller “The Golden Cage: from Entrapment to Empowerment” where she guides readers through a step by step approach to identify and break free of Life Cage’s. 

She has been featured in Authority Magazine, Thrive Global, Bustle, appeared as a guest on numerous podcasts, and has been a keynote speaker for the Broomfield Chamber of Commerce, American Women’s Business Association, Rotary International, and Kiwanis.  She is an executive contributor for Brainz magazine. 

You can sign up for a free coaching intro session or learn more about her group coaching programs at www.MargotZaher.com.

Lastly, you can learn 8 proven steps to transform anger into connection in your relationships by downloading her free anger report at www.DownloadAngerReport.com

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

Hello, and welcome to today's episode of the How to Choose happiness and freedom Show. I'm your host Lauren foster happiness teacher, founder of be happy first and author of happy and free on purpose daily practices to live and love your life. All the ways that you can get access to the Booker over on Lauren g foster comm you can also see past episodes, past videos, get some free gifts, all kinds of cool stuff over there. So head on over to Lauren j foster.com. And see what else you might want to learn over there. I am happy and honored and thrilled to welcome today, Margot there. She is an empowerment coach, relationship expert, and the best selling author of the golden cage. Welcome, Margot. Thanks so much. It's such a pleasure to be here with you today. Yeah, I'm very, very happy. We met on a virtual made up thing of a week or so ago, which is kind of a new thing for me and very cool. And I loved the whole idea about the golden cage, and we're going to talk about that. But first of all, tell us more about who you are and how you came to be in this spot in this moment.

Margot Zaher:

Wow, that's quite a tall tale nice. Um, so I have been doing different types of coaching since 2000. So it was kind of one of the pioneers in coaching. And originally, I was certified hypnotherapist, and I'm done did psychotherapy and helps people with a lot of anxiety and fears and phobias. And then one day I met a life coach and my world just changed. I was like, Oh my gosh, that's what I really want to do, I want to be a coach. So I enrolled a coach, you maybe you've heard of that before. And I became certified as a professional coach life coach back in 2000. And it's been a journey of doing a ton of different kinds of coaching and different kinds of work since then, basically, I originally focused a lot on the entrepreneurs and small business owners and helping them with a productivity and life goals and business goals. And as I was doing that, I kind of discovered that a lot of times, of course, their relationship was negatively impacting them. And you know, your productivity goes way down when your relationships in trouble or when you have a fight and you're unhappy. And so I started doing more Relationship Coaching and did some trainings, and I applied some of my techniques, I would call my emotional clearing techniques to help people deal with some of the emotional challenges around relationship. So another big thing happened. And we'll talk about more in the book, The golden cage that really pushed me into specializing more in relationships and self empowerment in general, was my marriage fell apart. And that really pushed me in a direction of like, Oh, I really need to figure out this relationship thing. So when you have that personal challenge come your way that really pushes you in a certain direction. So you know, life kind of shows you where you need to maybe do more focus and learn and grow. And so I went on a big journey of, I would say self growth and exploration that I've because of that I've learned a ton that I'm able to support my clients with now. And so I'm have a lot of gratitude for that relationship challenge, a huge marriage breakup that happened.

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

Yeah. And that that's one of the things that we talk about the most is finding the gifts and things that that if this terrible thing had not happened, this wonderful thing couldn't have happened. Right?

Margot Zaher:

Right. Exactly. Well, definitely. Now I'm super thrilled to be what we were skipping head. But I'm so thrilled that my parents broke up because I'm really with the man of my dreams, I mean, my soulmate. And I'm just like, I am so thrilled and blessed to be part of this relationship where I really know the difference in being and feeling empowered, or I can fully be myself, or there's just this really beautiful magic connection at all times versus the struggle I was in, in my marriage. So I learned a lot about myself and about what was holding me back from being a good relationship because of the big challenging mess that I was in my marriage basically,

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

right? That you know, the show always winds up being like my conversations which are very, because I the word empowerment, I want to hear what that means to you because you know what words are words and they mean different things to different people. And I want to hear your take on what it means to be empowered.

Margot Zaher:

Well, for me, it's when you can fully tap into who you are when you're really listening to your heart and you're allowing your heart to lead the way when you're allowing your passions and what's really kind of in the in your deep core to lead the way. And all of that like the shoulds and the what ifs And the masks that we wear and the ways we think we should show up, though we've allowed those to fall away and to be I want to be in my own power in connecting with my own inner truth. So a lot of what I talked about in the book is also connecting with your truth and allowing your truth to lead you. And so for me, empowerment means that you're connected with your truth and you're fully showing up in the world, and therefore, allowing yourself to radiate your natural power. And when you do that, you sort of step into your fullness, and you show up in more of a whole state, in my opinion,

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

okay. And so, a lot of times, people can't even figure that out, they can't figure out what part of them is doing what they were taught to do, following the path that was set for them, you know, people pleasing, doing all this things will talk to me a little bit about how we can help people that are in that place that are like, Well, my life's okay. And that this we're kind of naturally getting into the golden cage, partly because

Margot Zaher:

right? Well, I mean, a good sign that something that you're in an attract state. So I basically look at entrapment versus empowerment is kind of the polarities in my book, because it's from entrapment to empowerment. Is that is your general energy and how you feel about life? How do you wake up in the morning, so if you're waking up with a lot of shoulds, if should is a thing that keeps driving, it's like, oh, I should go to work, I should do this, I should, the shoulds, if you're in a should state, most likely you're not in an empowered state, right. And most likely, you're experiencing what I'm calling the golden cage phenomenon, where you may be trapped, energetically trapped in your life trapped, because you have a lot of fear. Most of the time, these, these, the bars of the cage are created by fear, right? fear of the unknown fear of what if I didn't listen to all these shoulds? You know, that's one example. For instance,

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

all right, and I just have to wait, we go through our lives going, I have to do this. And I have to do that, and implying that we don't have any choice.

Margot Zaher:

Exactly. So we feel disempowered and victim, but one of the things is the I think the victim state, and I use this in my book, too. Like, there's this way of like, you know, the world is against me, I have no choice. And when you feel like like, basically, you're been dealt a bad hand, or you're in that state, and there's really nothing you can do. Because you've given your power away to circumstances, you're giving your power away to other people. And so that's why I'm so into the word empowerment, because it's really about taking it back and say, you know, I'm going to reclaim this, I have choice, I have choice at all moments, I know you believe this to Lord, I can choose my state of mind, I can choose the beliefs that I would like to develop and really step fully into, I have choice about what I what action steps I take, I can choose at any moment actually to be different. Now I know this sounds very simplistic because there's a process involved with this. But we really are at choice more than we remember sometimes.

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

That's the absolute total truth. And if we say it enough, people will begin to believe right. Okay, so So tell me about Tell me about the golden cage. What what, how did I love the I mean, the whole concept, the gilded cage, the golden cage, the This looks so beautiful, but it's taken away on my freedom. That's

Margot Zaher:

Yeah, I mean, I was really kind of a crazy experience this book, I'm just going to start a little bit earlier in it. Because what happened to me as I started getting this image of the image of the cage and I'm maybe I'll show it on the screen, because this is the book and there's a picture of basically a golden cage with a bird flying free. And I started getting this image on my morning walks, all of a sudden, this picture of the golden cage was 12. And I'm like, What is that about? That is just really odd. Like, why am I seeing this picture? So these images started coming to me. And then I went on this retreat to write a book. And I didn't know what book I was going to write. And I had this intention, like I really have a message to communicate to the world. But I really wasn't quite sure what the message was. I just wanted to write a book. And so when I sat down and started writing the book, all of a sudden, I got that that image was the book that the golden cage was what I was meant to write the book about ashesi all sudden, it took me about four to six hours of writing before I knew what I was even writing there was like this kind of download that happens. And so what happened to me as I started recognizing my own golden cage is through the writing. I hadn't really seen my life through that filter. And so half the book is really about my own life experiences. Half of it is techniques to support people getting out of the cage, basically. So what I discovered, as I was writing the book, when it first came to me was my relationship, cage. And I had been in a relationship that was really beautiful from the outside. Meaning I had, we had a lot of people admiring us, we had this huge following, like 17,000 people on this list. And then we were like this ideal a couple. And so the golden is when I call it talk about the cage, it's like you are trapped. And yet, it looks so beautiful, either from the outside people are like, jealous of you, envious of you, if it's a relationship. It's like the perfect couple, you live in this perfect house with all your perfect friends. And you know, you really, you have this perfect little family and it looks beautiful. But really, inside, you're actually feeling trapped. And then you feel almost guilty, like why should I be upset? Why am I Why am I not excited about being in this relationship. It can also happen in a career, which I'll talk about in a minute. But in this relationship. So what happened for me is I didn't even realize that I had been in a golden cage, I knew that I had been unhappy in the relationship. But I was so attached to it, like I was holding on to those bars, because I was afraid because fear had created this cage, I was afraid to leave. But I was afraid of being alone. And what I talked about in the book is I had to face the fear of being alone, to really create a healthy relationship. Because if not, all I would do is just create new golden cages. Because without it's really, it's the fear that holds you back and creates this cage like experience. And so in my relationship, the one that I talked about in the book, which isn't banned in my marriage, I actually had to have another catalyst helped me out of that relationship. It's a story about me basically, asking, you know, for support, like I need to leave this relationship, but I didn't know how. And so another woman came in and basically did that for me, like, my husband fell in love with someone else. So but because of that, I was sort of pushed out of the cage, so to speak, and kind of forced to go through this experience, kind of kicking and screaming, to be honest with you, it was really hard. But on the other side was when I was able to finally find my wings and strengthen my wings and start flying and really feel the freedom of being alone the freedom of being outside of the relationship that has held me back in so many ways from being myself, because I did a lot of pretending to stay in the relationship pretending and actually keeping myself fairly small. Like, I was really kind of like this actually in a cage like feeling like Oh, if I, I got to do this, and so the marriage will work, I'm going to do ask the marriage for work. instead of actually being my true self. I had worn this mask of competency and having it all together and when no matter what we'll make it, we'll do it, we'll make this happen. That kind of energy. Right? Alright, so

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

one thing we can do is pray for a catalyst. But what's that that's kind of weird to go, Okay, please let something bad happens. Right. So but let's not do that instead that talk to me a little bit about how, and I see that a lot, too. I see people who are just putting up with relationships, because the devil, you know that the fear of being alone. And so, and I'm probably probably jumping ahead into things that you're already planning to say, but what, how can we organically step into that fear and face that fear? And to step beyond that fear of being alone?

Margot Zaher:

Yeah, that is such a great question that requires quite a few steps, in my opinion. Um, one of the really important things in general that I work with my clients on is changing their relationship to fear. You know, basically, a lot of us were trained or somehow taught that anytime we felt fear was somehow bad. And so we go towards fear, and oh, no, there's fear, I'm going to step back. So actually, the fact the matter is, fear is actually a good thing for most people. I mean, obviously, there's different kinds of fears. There's the fear that you need to take seriously which will endanger your life, like you know, stepping in front of a car. But I'm not talking about that kind of fear. I'm talking about psychological fear, which often is actually just a signal that you're stepping beyond the comfort zone, you're stepping into something new and to change our relationship to fear and I help my clients do this where they realize fear is actually my friend. Fear is is just a signal it's Oh, wow, I'm stepping outside my comfort zone. Okay, fear Let me feel you and so if we learn to feel the fear and embrace the fear and welcome the fear into our life and actually have different relationship to fear, and no longer will hold us back from being successful from really going for our dreams, whether it's a little Relationship dream, a career dream, anything really we want to do. So what's really been very helpful for me as I, you know, go through this different step by step process with my clients to really allow them to change their relationship to fear. So they feel more empowered with that energy. Because it is real, it is a part of who we are. And it's human. Fear is a natural part about being human. And so to pretend that fear doesn't exist, and I need to never feel feel feel it sorry. I never need to feel it is totally ridiculous. So I think that what I found for most people's if, if you allow yourself to just feel the fear and go into it fully with that, and let go of the thoughts, but it's actually this process of moving in into your body, and kind of knowing how it feels in your body and moving through it, you actually can move through it, you drop some different layers of emotions, kind of how I teach people to drop through method. And you get to your core, which is a natural sense of peacefulness, calmness, a natural knowingness, it resides in all of us. So the fear, we just need to go through it to emerge on the other side. Right. Right. And so in some things that I did in my book, is I actually and I talk, is I actually pushed myself into fear to be able to make friends with it. I did things consciously. It's almost like a new muscle. Do things consciously to bring up fear for you that aren't life or death matters? That isn't such a big deal. Eventually, you're like, Oh, I can handle this. I know what it feels like to embrace fear and welcome fear. I have a visual, where I literally say, okay, fear, let me hold your hand, we're going to walk into this situation together. Right? So one example for me was was salsa dancing. The fear of going into a big room of people and learning to salsa dance was a big thing for me. So I had to just grab fear by the hand, like, Okay, if you're we're gonna walk into this room of 100. Some people learn to salsa dance, we can do it. That's an example of like, how small baby steps to embracing fear.

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

Yeah, and I love that because you are, you're teaching yourself that this is not going to kill me. This is this. This is gonna help me this is gonna help me grow. I think it was Eleanor Roosevelt who said do something every day that scares you. And yeah, yeah. I love that quote from my favorite one. Yeah. Hearing truth, hearing truth, awesome. That instead, and I want to really make the point that everything that she's saying applies to everything in your life, that, you know, the, all of the things that you want are usually on the other side of fear. And that moving into your growth zone and out of your comfort zone is how you get there. And get like turning, being excited recognizing the excitement and the the deliciousness of fear instead of the entrapment or the, the what's the word? I'm looking for the holding back?

Margot Zaher:

Right? Yeah, right. I mean, what someone said to me, and unfortunately, I can't remember who this person was, or I would give them credit here. They said to me, the difference between fear and excitement, excitement is your breath, and in fear, you're holding your breath. But an excitement you have your breath, it's fully moving. But there's a very similar energy actually, in this continuum. Fear can turn into excitement, you can move through it. Um, one of the things I've also want to bring up about fear that's super helpful is most of the time. We imagine our minds are treating this. Like they're imagining these scenarios. And that's actually what's creating the fear. So our mind creates scenarios and beliefs and thoughts and we're attaching to these thoughts. And in my experience, and then what my clients experience almost every bit ever spoken to, our scenarios are much worse than anything we actually experience. And so our minds go kind of crazy with it. Like what if they sent this to me? What if that happened when this happens? And so a lot of a lot about the techniques I work with people's also recognizing when our mind is going off in kind of crazy land, and going into this derailment place where it's just like me, me, me, me, me, me. And realizing you're not our mind, we are not our thoughts, we have much more power than our thoughts. And so consciously choosing truths versus all limiting beliefs is what I say, like, okay, what's the truth you want to embody? Now when I say body that's actually key is because your body actually has more wisdom, like it will not it will guide you in a way that you can trust more than your mind. Because your mind can justify can see both sides of everything. And eventually, some people I know my experience is that it feels like it's almost like a whirlwind of like, I don't know what I should do. Should I really do this or not do this. Ah, yep. It's kind of crazy, right? So another thing that I teach my clients and I, I've worked with very hard in my own life, I'm telling you, it's not been easy to learn is to make decisions from my heart. And when my heart lead the way more than my mind, because you can trust your heart, your heart or your gut, however you want to refer to it, that your body knows the answers, and can lead you if you learn how to tap into what I call yes and no responses in your body.

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

Get the end, you know, something that I've experienced just recently is that when you when you do get into that swirling, that's like your thoughts are thinking you and you can't stop them. Don't do anything, wait until until you can get into. But a lot of times we don't we respond from that place. And we make even bigger messes. Right?

Margot Zaher:

Right. And it's almost for me, the first thing I say to people, one of my favorite expressions I work with when I work with couples, and even in singles in relationship is before you actually say something in a difficult conversation, let's say you're in a fight and your mind is swirling, is to say, Okay, let me move my energy into my body into my center. And so I have this visualization. So you can imagine that you're a tree and start sending down your roots and get really strong in this tree, get into the tree feeling first before you start to speak because you'll be much more grounded in what the truth really is. And so it's a lot about moving your energy into your body more than in your mind was swirling. I know this because I unfortunately have are one of those people. I said, That's funny. But there sir, people are more prone to actually be in their mind versus their body.

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

Alright, so this is an interesting question that gets back to the first question that I asked you about? How do you know, if you are, you know, living your own life or living a life that was prescribed for you? What is the role of sickness and disease in

Unknown:

the clinic?

Margot Zaher:

Yeah, I mean, I think your body again, we're going back to the body, I think your body sends you signals. And in the I'm not, okay, arena, like lose things that are not exactly in alignment with who I am or what I want to be doing. Oftentimes, unfortunately, you're because you're in this kind of your energy tends to be when you're in the state, kind of more of a depressed state, it's, it's inward, it's kind of darker, it's heavier, because you're really like way down. It's more in the sadness realm. If after a time that you you stick in this, there are there is some science showing that being in a sad, depressed, morose place, and kind of pushing through life does impact your immune system. And so if our immune system starts suffering, then it can open the doorway to be sick more often, or even to some diseases. Now, obviously, there's many reasons for that, that could cause disease. I even noticed though, in fact, to another career page in my life was my career cage, I used to work, I had this amazing and very prestigious job actually in Paris, working for Procter and Gamble and marketing. But unfortunately, it turned into a case for me and I had a lot of sickness that year, I had a lot of tons of bronchitis and asthma. Actually, interestingly enough for me, it showed up in my lungs and my breathing and my ability to take in. And I was I wasn't able to take fully in what was experiments experiencing, I didn't want to be there. So I feel like there was a lot of visibility just

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

strangled by the bonds around two out that's

Margot Zaher:

so I became I was very entrapped, actually in my in that cage i was i was highly miserable, I would hide out in the bathroom because I hated my boss, I was afraid to go to work. And the big fear that kept me there was one of the other very common fears that keeps us in a cage is a fear of not being able to survive. Basically, it comes down to finances, but there's fear of being alone if you're not surviving. The surviving is like somehow or another, I'm going to end up in a ditch, you know, and die. Really, there is almost a fundamental like, I've got to hold on to this job, because without this job, I'm not going to survive, right? So that's what kept me in that cage for a few years. But eventually, I found hypnotherapy was the very beginning of I would say, very strong personal growth, evolution. And I did this very strong intensive on hypnotherapy, and specifically around and this is like a clue also to how to get out of a golden cage is around self love. I had very low at that time, my self esteem and my sense of loving myself and caring about myself is actually really low. I have been so focused on other people, what they wanted me to do, what I should do for them and my own sense of self actually She was fairly low in my early 20s. And, um, but by doing some of this hypnotherapeutic work, and by doing these self love exercises that I teach in the golden cage and elsewhere, I was able to strengthen my sense of like, you know what I do matter what I know what I want matters. I love myself, you are important. What do you really want in your life? All those important questions, this seems so simple, but sometimes we don't even ask ourselves, what do we really want? Right? Are you really happy? So it's really about asking yourself some simple questions. And just noticing energetically. How are you feeling? Like if you're excited to go to work? Great, you're on track. If you're excited to wake up in the morning, you're like, yeah, I get to do another fun day on the planet, then you're on track. If you're dreading things, if you're like, Oh, no, no, no, it's Monday. Again, you have the Monday blues, and you're just like, I don't want to deal with this. Why do I even have to go to work? If it weighs on you like a ton of bricks work or a relationship, anything like that, then often you're probably in a cage, some sort of golden cage. And for me, the golden. I just wanted to quickly specify a little bit why I called the career cage a golden cage to does I have the ideal career Honestly, I had so many people kept saying you have the most prestigious job, you're working for Procter and Gamble in Paris. And you're being paid lots of money, people were jealous, it was prestigious. I mean, I had a lot of things going for me. But the point is, even if the looks great from the outside world, if your heart doesn't love it, if you if it doesn't, you know, make you excited to be alive in the morning, then it's not for you. That's what I discovered, it was not for me. It was not in alignment with my true self and what I really wanted to do on the planet.

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

Right? Awesome. I totally love this. Okay, um, let's see. So what, what are some other important aspects of the book or the whole idea that you would want to share? That it's a very vast subject,

Margot Zaher:

it really is a huge subject, I want to just continue a tiny bit with self love first, because I want to, I really feel that that's like the core of shifting from being trapped to being empowered, along with working with the fear, because in self love, it's not just like, Oh, I'm gonna learn to love myself a list of who I am. But also, there's a part of self forgiveness that happens and self love. And I've also noticed that a lot of people have trouble escaping, getting out of a cage, because they are actually beating themselves up a lot for even being in the cage. There's a lot of needing to forgive oneself first, for even being in a cage and be like, I, I really worked. In this book, there's a tone that I specifically use to say, there's nothing wrong with the fact that you're in a cage, don't beat yourself up for this. This is part about being human. And what's interesting about cages is a, you can have the ideal job, let's say my job at Procter and Gamble, it can be beautiful, and perfect and not a cage. And then it can become a cage as we evolve. So the fact that you actually were in a certain relationship or are in a certain relationship, but then it turns into a golden cage, or a certain job that turns into a golden cage, doesn't mean you did anything wrong. And then you're a terrible person. And why on earth am I stuck over here and all this like negative thinking about yourself? It just means that, hey, I've evolved and shifted and grown and I've outgrown this situation, this cage, this relationship, this, and I need to really look at, where do I want to go next? What's my heart's calling. So if you really consciously look at how to let go of the forgive yourself for the past, and just like, you know what you were doing the best you could there's a process of self forgiveness that I also use with people. But to really work on self forgiveness, then you can open the doorway to the most important part, which is connecting back to your heart, because in it, in your heart lies the answers you're looking for, like, Where should I go next? So most people can't actually leave a golden cage without having a really clear vision of where they want to go. What is their heart's desire? What is their heart's calling? I use that word the most? What is it? Like? How does it feel out there? What am I going towards, it's much easier to have a vision for yourself. So that's what the next step is, is to really get in touch with that vision of what does inspire you what's exciting, and that's about learning that there's different exercises you can do to tap more into your heart's kind of truth.

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

I love that. I mean, ever you are saying everything that I say that in margao words like you didn't go crawl into that cage on purpose. It's funny, you know, like, oh, here's a golden cage. And that so many of us don't know what we want, we just know we don't want this. And that it's so much easier to manifest something new when you know what you want than it is to just keep chasing and seeking and trying to find something that's going to make you happy. Instead of starting from the inside out. I'd love it. I can't wait to read your book. Um,

Margot Zaher:

yeah, well, I'm gonna send you the link for the ebook, so or the regular books you can buy. So um, but one of the things so once you get your kind of idea of where you're going and your heart's calling, is, is to look at the baby steps principles is one of my favorite principles, because I really believe that it feels overwhelming to people that Well, how do I get there, I'm over here, and I want to get over there. So there's a couple things that really helped me with that path. One is to not get attached to the house, just to keep focusing on the intention, then there's enough what you what's important is to take some baby steps towards your destination and to be able to do some of these small steps towards Oh, yeah, I want to do that. That is my goal. But to not get attached and have to actually map out every step you need to take because the truth about it is new. It's impossible to know the all the steps, they're always like little breadcrumbs leading, they're gonna just start following a couple breadcrumbs. And then what often happens is that as you go along, all of a sudden, you're like, Oh, I didn't know the road would turn over here. But this is the road to follow next. And so it's there's a lot about trusting the process, I talked a lot about trust in the book, trusting the process, and surrendering to the process. But that doesn't mean not doing anything. So it's important to take those steps put out the right energy, what I often say to my clients is, the important thing is the intention and the energy, you're putting energy in the right direction. It may not look the way you think it should look, or the results may not come back the way you think they should come back. yet. What's important is you're putting out the energy because the world the universe will support you as you continue to move forward. And you will find the next step that makes sense, you will find what needs to happen. And people will show up to support you. Situations will show up as for you.

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

Yeah. So yeah, we talk a lot about the difference in inspired action and motivated action where right your inspiration comes from your heart and motivation comes from your fear and your brain and your I got to do this I must I should I have to.

Margot Zaher:

I loved Yeah, inspired me. Yeah, inspired baby steps is what I say. Like, listen to the inspiration. I love that I think that so much of the time, we waste our times with things we think we have to do or should do versus things we really want to do. That doesn't mean that there aren't occasionally things in your like, if you have a business or you're like, Oh, I don't really love these things. And, and so you may want to delegate some of those things out, let me know, obviously, there are things you may not love to do, right. And it's important to keep your energy as much as possible, doing the things that you do love to do, because it builds more positive energy, right. That's what you've experienced, too. I can tell Lauren, that the more you do, what you love to do, the stronger your energy gets. And the more excited you get, the more you attract great things into your life, right? Just got to get the ball going right in the right direction.

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

Yeah, exactly. And, and it all starts with awareness and understanding that you've got that choice to change your momentum anytime you want, and start heading in a different direction.

Margot Zaher:

Yeah, one other quick thing I would like to say about this is, is something that I learned a long time ago, that really helped me what I call a growth path. You know, a lot of people on a healing growth path, I'd say, they think of it as linear, they think of it, it's just like a diagonal line that goes like this, like I'm starting down here, I'm going to grow up here. And they believe that anytime they're not on this linear line, like something is wrong. And my belief is that actually nothing in the world is linear, like our rivers are not straight lines, the mountains are not straight lines, and we don't live in the actual world. Trees are not straight, nothing is actually a line, you know, it's manmade. So the natural sort of evolution or the process of growth is more like this, it kind of curves upward. So you have your peaks and your valleys. And so when I remind my clients is that, well, you're going to get a peak and also you may experience a valley but the valleys you experienced as you go along these valleys are going to be higher. What I mean is you'll have more awareness around the value. It'll be slightly different these valleys, so don't freak out. If you experience a valley and think oh my gosh, I'm not on my path. Something is terrible. So I try to keep keep that in mind as you move towards your goals in life. Just because something doesn't go the exact way you think it should go doesn't mean that some that you shouldn't be going in that direction, right? So just remember that valleys will happen. And to be able to kind of embrace the learn from those valleys,

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

there's something down there that you needed to go get.

Margot Zaher:

No, I love that, Laura. That's great. Yeah, so you need to get and I think of as angles, like, there's different aspects of what you're learning. Like, I think that we all have like core lessons we're learning. And really, there's only a few of them, but we have to look at them all these different angles and ways. And so really get them deep, you know, to really transmute them.

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

Awesome. Fantastic. I can't wait. So we're wherever you're watching this video, or listening to this audio, if you look down, provide all the links to get to Margo, but tell us, tell us what where to go to connect with you just so we have it on the audio as well?

Margot Zaher:

Yes, so my website is Margot zaher.com. As my name is spelled here on the screen, ma RT o t z is in zebra h er calm. And I'm the golden cage, you can find on that about that on the on my website and on Amazon. The golden cage is on Amazon. So just look that up from entrapment to empowerment. And I also offers a free download if you are interested. One of the big things I work with real in relationships on is helping people with conflict. And so I have a free anger report basically how eight steps to help defuse anger in a relationship so that people can download that at download anger. report.com. So I will give you that link tomorrow. Okay, awesome. We'll put that in the show notes for sure. Yeah, so anyway, you can learn most of what you need to learn about me on my website. I'm doing a lot of different programs. So UPC there,

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

now, are you taking new coaching clients? Yes, I

Margot Zaher:

am taking new coaching clients, I do work with some individuals. And then I'm doing some group coaching programs that I am currently going to be updating on my website when they're starting probably in August or September.

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

Okay, awesome. So and again, I've been to her websites, you can learn about all this different things there as well. All right, awesome. Well, so anything any closing statements, before we sign off for today, Margo?

Margot Zaher:

Oh, I just want to say that what I think is the most important again, back to just sort of summarizing this is just to have the belief and knowing inside yourself that you do deserve to live a life that you love, right, you deserve to go for your heart's calling, whatever that is, no matter what other people think or what they're going to say about you. That's one of the things that I think is really important to keep in mind is the most important thing is how you feel about yourself, and to focus back on yourself when you've been thinking about other people. So I would just recommend that you take some time, I can give a little technique to take some time to just do what I call an it's called basically a wise self download. But the idea is you just close your eyes, tap into your heart and start writing from your heart like what is my heart really want and write in a way that's not from your mind, you basically just let your pen start writing. and say if I don't know what I want to write, I don't know what I write you write literally keep writing that. Don't let your pin stop writing for 30 minutes and see what happens. You'll probably get a lot of gems from your heart.

Lauren Gabrielle Foster:

Interesting. Interesting. Interesting. I'm totally going to share that. I will credit you of course. Of course. That sounds awesome. Thanks so much. Awesome. Thank you Margo for being with us. Again. The book is the golden cage. And you can find that at Margaret Margot's a or.com or on Amazon. And again, look below and I'll provide all these links for you. I appreciate you being here. We're going to be back next week with another great guest and in the meantime, remember happiness is choice. You can always choose to be happy first. Thank you. Bye. Thank you. Bye